An auspicious beginning.....

Brain Injury is a drag.

So, that's how I acquired my, shall we say, charming and distinctive gait. For those gentle readers who've never met me in person, the above is my smart-ass way of alluding to my disability (Cerebral Palsy) and the motor impairment that produces that special "Matt-eeee motion..." (hey, that sounds like a song, almost....)

Childhood

Despite all of that, my folks walked the tightrope of protecting me (mostly from myself) and teaching a kid with a disability independence very well. They didn't flinch when I wanted to learn to ride a bike, play sports or learn to drive. My dad, in fact, was a saint during the nearly 2 year process of me learning to balance on a bicycle.

Although tests showed me to be of above-average intelligence, I was not a great achiever in school. My brain was always moving at the speed of light, overstimulated by the auditorium- sized petri dish I went to school in... that grand '70's educational experiment called "Open-Space Classrooms". At the time, they called me "active" "distracted", and "overly-social".

Baby Queer

In retrospect, I now know why I felt that way. As early as six, I was developing crushes on boys. Yup, my "enchantment" had early roots. I didn't act on any of those feelings for years. When I finally did, at age 17, it was with people and in situations I'd really rather forget. At the time, attention was attention, you know what I mean? Plus, 17 year-old hormones clouded my already distractible and overstimulated brain.

Some of my friends today say, "Boy, it's so great that you knew who you were at a young age.. I wish I had". I'm here to tell you, it ain't all that great. See, I really didn't know anything about myself as a person, except that I was queer. My headlong rush into gay sexuality hindered the development of the rest of my personality. It has taken years for me to catch up.

In addition to being prematurely active, I had these achingly intense crushes on certain guys at school... particularly Chris, Jay, and Bill... jocks and overachievers all. As it turns out, today Bill and Chris are definitely gay, Jay's orientation not confirmed but strongly suspected. And some people say there is no such thing as "gay-dar"....

Welcome to Hell..

I knew I needed to get away from home, so I based my college decision, in part, on how far away it put me from my family. Out of the frying pan, into the TRUE hellfire of Lock Haven University. If only there had been a "Baby Queer's Guide to Picking a College"... it definitely would have said "LHU...hell if you're a homo... DON'T go here!" (Now, if you're a lesbian, it's an entirely different thing....the place is packed with women-loving women.) Five years of harassment by telephone, verbal (thank god, not physical) abuse, and outing. Can you guess, I hated every minute of college?

After getting my degree (but no certificate... another long story I won't get into), I high-tailed out of there, first, to State College, then to Harrisburg, where I've remained to this day. This is where I finally started taking care of myself, and played "catch -up" with all the therapy I'd needed for years. I also, finally, was officially diagnosed with and treated for Attention Deficit Disorder.

"Little Mattee... Happy at Last"(1999)

In May, 1999, I finally became a homeowner. I'm thoroughly in love with my post-World War II row-house in the Melrose Gardens section of Harrisburg. Plans are being made for next year's gardens already.

I'm still single. Even though it gets lonely sometimes, I no longer view being single as a bad thing (Yet another therapeutic breakthrough!). I'm not really looking for a relationship right now, but am not averse to having one, if the right guy comes along. Of course, my qualifications for "Mr Right" are fairly stringent.

My guidelines for "Mr. Right NOW" are a tad more flexible!

Update...2001

Work: No longer with the large pharmacy chain. Now working as an IT consultant for a large company with 36 offices nationwide. I have a long term contract to provide help desk services to a major manufacturer headquartered in Dauphin County.

Home: Still in my row house, haven't done shit with the gardens. I've been too busy replacing garage doors, installing Central Air, and helping my best pal Joe gut his seventy year old kitchen and rebuild it from the bare walls.

Relationship Status: Just when I'd finally accepted perpetual singlehood, love walked in. I met Mark in October, 2000, and we have been dating ever since. We're in that "goofy schoolboy" phase...mushy love notes, just "calling to say I love you" kind of stuff.

The "how" and "where" we met is an interesting story... but those details are for another time.. :)