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December 28, 2001
December 26, 2001
Great Holiday...
Spent a lot of time in the days leading up to Christmas with Mark, hanging out, cooking, and getting ready with last minute gift runs. It's been a long time since I had a family Christmas to prepare for, and I was a little out of practice.
Giftage was fairly low-key and simple... Markie and I exchanged CDs* and a few small items (he gave me a small tool set, I got him mugs from the diner we ate at the night we met and a pair of thermal socks). I bought Mikey this year's Hess Truck,(click for pic)and a Border's Certificate for Sue.
As usual, the food was fab. Ham, sweet and mashed potatoes, corn. We also had what Markie calls "hunky sausage" (spicy!) and his version of sarma, which he'd made over the weekend. Really good stuff!
We spent the day quietly, hanging with the kids, watching movies and TV (including AbFab and SNL marathons on Comedy Central) and we made a couple trips to the house to check on progress and/or show it off :).
*Click [more] for CD info.
*From me to him: Suzanne Vega, Songs in Red and Gray
*From him to me: Shawn Colvin, Whole New You
December 19, 2001
The Geek Syndrome
Wired has an article on their site about a surge in incidence of Autism and Asperger's Syndrome in Silicon Valley Children. As a technogeek and former Special Educator, the story is an interesting read.
Of additional interest is the Autism Spectrum Quotient, which is "a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults". I took the test and scored 15... below the average and well below the score that indicates a potential problem. Thank god. ADD is enough, thank you!
How did YOU score?
"No" to Salvation Army Bigotry.
(for background on the issue, click here.)
Yeah, that's right. Queers need not apply.
PFLAG has slips you can print out to put in their kettles instead of money.
(click here to see the slips.. warning... PDF file.)
Alternatively, here are some other images:
December 14, 2001
Washday bliss....
The new machines arrived on schedule today. Screw the cost, I'm all WET over my newly quiet, efficient laundry area.
December 13, 2001
Doing what I can
This summer, two of Mark's best friends got married. They both had gone through nasty divorces, and were looking forward to many years together.
Not to be. Last month, a scant 3 months after their wedding, he was diagnosed with lung cancer which has already metastasized to his spine, his jaw, and his knee.
Although he has started radiation (and Chemotherapy starts tomorrow), the doctors have made it clear that the treatment is an attempt to provide him more time to address his personal matters and be with his family. No one is talking about remission or cure.
Mark is devastated by the news. These people have also become very important to me in a short time, largely because they were two of the people from Mark's "other life" who have been fully supportive of his coming out process.. and who have welcomed me with open arms.
My coping mechanism? Click into "caseworker" mode.... it's been awhile, but there are details to attend to that I can help with. Today, for, example, I accompanied them to Social Security to file for Disability benefits. This is something I know.. I filed a bunch of SSD claims back in my CW days, all successful the first time around.
So, cool. Focus on papers, medical records, details, signatures, so I can set aside all of what I'm feeling right now:
I gotta keep breathing. Gotta keep cranking out the papers (and hugs) for B&K and their kids, gotta keep hugging (and talking and crying with) my guy.
Breathe in.......breathe out.
Breathe in.......breathe out.
December 11, 2001
Goodbye, technology... hello, durable goods. Fug.
Fug.
For Christmas, I *was* going to surprise myself this year with a Handspring Visor, maybe with a W***ows XP upgrade, maybe some more clothes for work. What a difference a day makes.
My clothes dryer can no longer regulate it's temperature. When I went to pull clothes from the dryer the other day, they were so hot I couldn't touch them. After pulling the back and top off the unit to be sure it wasn't a lint buildup issue, I jotted down the model and serial numbers, went upstairs and looked online for parts info. The schematic drawing for the model was dated February, 1974.
Holy Shit. My washer and Dryer are 27 years old. Consensus between my parents, Markie, and myself: let 'em go, buy new.
So, here it is, less than 2 weeks before Christmas, and I've got to invest in appliances. Fug.
December 09, 2001
Who does this look like??
Harry, thoroughly investigating a pair of boxer shorts.
He truly IS his Daddy's cat.... :)
December 08, 2001
Gray and Rainy Saturday
It's so blah outside right now. I'm not really complaining, because we so desperately need rain right now, but the weather certainly has blunted my productivity today.
Umm, ok. Anything I can grab onto to rationalize away the pathetic state of my house right now is welcomed. If you listen carefully, you can hear the heavy breathing coming from my bedroom. No, it's not from my boyfriend or a hot trick, it's from the pile of dirty laundry in my bedroom... it is forming it's own ecosystem at this point, I swear. I have a bathroom that I'm supposed to be sanding and scraping to prepare to be painted before the end of the month. What am I doing instead? Blogging, IM-ing, reading blogs.
Ok, so the day wasn't a total waste. I did have a wonderful IM chat with Chris of encorswish, then I went to meet my best buddy Joe at the Vietnamese Garden for soup. I also managed to pick up a present for Mikey (Mark's son) as well as pick up a prescription I needed. Tonight, I'll be joining a bunch of friends at the annual Harrisburg Men's Chorus Holiday Concert. After that, I'll be heading over to Mark's to catch SNL with him and the kids.
Eh... (or as Keith would say, "Pfft!") I'll be motivated tomorrow!
December 07, 2001
we have a logo!
Yeah, I gotta logo thang going on. What do you think?
December 03, 2001
Pictures
Click on [more] to see a current picture of Harry and one of Mark at the construction site.
December 01, 2001
Feeling Alive Again
“I feel alive again, Matt.”
Amazing. This 50 year-old man who’d been to hell and back on so many levels was glowing. Grinning from ear to ear in person and in the photos taken with his new love. Wearing shorts, looking like an excited boy on the beach. Another photo caught him smiling in his sleep as he snuggled against the chest of the man who was holding the camera at arm’s length.
Last week, he and I sat and talked for hours about the changes in his life. How wonderful to see him bursting with life and joy after living with AIDS- defining conditions for 15 years.
I remember the first time I formally met Rich. It was 1994, and he had helped me plan a friend’s memorial service. Although I had seen him around town, this was my first experience watching him in action. His ability to organize, to make connections among the various sectors of our friend’s life was amazing. At the same time, it was odd to see someone so self – aware be so “shut down” about his own situation. Did he really think that no one noticed the lesions at his collar line, only slightly obscured by liquid concealer? Hello? Does anybody wanna talk about the elephant in the living room?
My next interaction with him was more professional, when he came to me for assistance filing his disability claim. Even at that time, he was still trying to conceal lesions, still trying not to discuss in depth what was happening to him. Despite some initial problems communicating, we soon began to work well together. I was able to watch as he took his first steps toward aggressive treatment of his conditions.
When the chemo caused him to lose most of his hair, I went with him to look for hats. I soon found that he hated wearing them, yet he was nervous about people’s reaction to his near-baldness. I said, “F**k, ‘em, Rich... who cares what people think?” Shortly thereafter, I saw him out and about, head uncovered. “It’s not so bad,” he said, “better than wearing a goddamn hat covering up what everybody knows ain’t there anyway.” (for the record, his hair grew back as thick, wavy, and brown as before... without a strand of gray and with the hairline of a twenty year-old… the bitch! :) ) Not too long after that, he started wearing shorts in the summer again. “When people stare too much, I strike a “leg model” pose and tell ‘em to make sure they get a good look” at the KS lesions spread over his calves.
Rich is a free-lance writer. Once his disability claim was approved, he began to write prolifically about that “elephant”. I think that writing about HIV and AIDS from a treatment and social perspective helped him to be able to face some of his own fears, but Rich wanted to do more.
As someone who chose to continue working to supplement his income while receiving Disability, he found there was almost no information out there to tell him how to do that and retain his benefits. After educating himself, he decided it was time to help others. He founded an organization with the mission of helping people with AIDS return to work if they chose. To date, this organization has helped many people return to some level of employment, or allowed people who were never gainfully employed get their first job, yet still legally maintain their Social Security Disability benefits.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is this: Now more than ever, people with AIDS/HIV can still give, still learn, and can continue to flourish. This is what I choose to remember today…because I’ve cried long enough.