A rare mid-week treat.
A rare mid-week treat.
Looking forward to a long night of CPB (couch-potato behavior) with the BF, since I have been temporarily freed from my second-shift schedule.
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A rare mid-week treat.
Looking forward to a long night of CPB (couch-potato behavior) with the BF, since I have been temporarily freed from my second-shift schedule.
Mardi Gras, Capital City Style...
I've been working first shift Tuesday and today, so I had the rare opportunity to socialize with the BF for Mardi Gras.
Beads. Coins. Jambalaya. Scary Drag. An added plus... lots n' lots of tasty men coming out of the woodwork.
I tried to order a Sazerac, but of course no bartender I spoke to even knew that it was a cocktail, much less how to make one. So I consoled myself with a Hurricane or four... and still managed to get home in one piece and get up for work on time.
Blog Move Completed...Oy!
Well, it's done.. four and a half f****ing hours later!
What I'm proud of....
-the automatic referral from my old blogspot page is working... wanna try it?
(bad link above fixed 2/28/2001)
-the archives survived... all of them.
-blog voices made the move seamlessly.
-perma-link didn't work at first: it was quickly fixed.
Now to get the rest of the page up!
My move has started...
With any luck, my blog will be relocated to my domain by end of day Saturday,Feb 24. Cross your fingers... I know I will be.
Whoo-hoo!Vacation time...
The BF and I are heading for Orlando on Tuesday. No updating will be done for from the road, but I'll try to keep brief notes and catch up when I get back on Sunday the 18th.
Huh?
Maybe it's 'cuz I'm not a Sopranos fan...but when I went to the Mob Name Generator and put in my name, this is the nickname I was given...
Oz:
Beecher's "Jail Bitch" Nickname Generator...
Queer as Folk:
Emmett's Camp/Drag Nickname Generator ...
(Update: 2/12/00... Hmm, after watching QAF last night, maybe I should re-think this one... maybe Emmett's "bottom slave" nickname generator would be more appropriate!)
I'm excited...
I have started the process to register a domain. More news as it develops...
Yuck!
Anybody with half a brain knows that fast food is bad for you. This article reminded me why I've cut way back on fast food intake.
"excuse me while I touch myself..."
The new PC has been ordered from Gateway. Here are the stats:
Intel 1 GHz Pentium3 Processor and Motherboard (up from 33 mHz)
128 MB RAM (a four-fold increase)
17" Monitor
40 GB Hard Drive (compared to my maxed out 1.5 gig drive)
Soundblaster Audio and Speakers ( goodbye, sorry-a** MWave combo modem and sound card!)
56K Modem/Home Networking combo card
3com 10/100 Twisted Pair Adapter (woo-hoo.. cable modem/DSL ready!)
I'm not going to post the price...but I think I got a good deal. Should arrive in two weeks.
Funny Stuff from The Onion
Lance Cuellar (is that his REAL name?) discusses a common problem faced by many gay travelers.
In the same issue, we discover that Stephen Tewksbury is a Party Animal.
Update 02/21/00:Links for this post removed because the Onion apparently doesn't archive.
You're Kidding, right?
George "You're going to like the way you look...I guarantee it" Zimmer, founder of The Men's Wearhouse, admitted in this Salon Article that he's taken Ecstasy for "therapeutic purposes". Hmm.. maybe someone should give him some E, then tell him that he needs to lose the hairpiece.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled program...
Salon's Janelle Brown deconstructs the Britney / 'N Sync dichotomy in Sluts and teddy bears.
Weekend Bliss, Sunday Night Crash and Burn...
Ok, I'm beginning to feel like my head is going to explode. A lot of thoughts are racing through my head at warp speed (even after taking my Ritalin).
As has been the case many times before, I spent the weekend with the BF. We had an incredibly great weekend, going to see Penn State's ensemble Essence of Joy in concert on Saturday night, after cooking a great meal. Sunday, we shopped for our upcoming Florida trip, and had an absolutely mindblowing "afternoon delight".
So why, after all that, did I feel like hell after leaving him last night ? Why did I end up feeling sad, lonely and lost? This week was no different than any other: his kids were coming to start their every-other full week of custody with their dad, so I had to go. Last night, the abrupt change from being SO VERY much with him to being alone again really knocked me for a loop.
I really don't think his involvement with his kids is the issue.. I'm glad he's such a positive force in their lives. I never before minded the return to my own environment, my own space.. in fact, I've cherished my private time after spending so much time together. What's changed?
I don't see how it's possible for us to spend any MORE time together, given our responsibilities and schedules. In fact, I think we've done the best we both can to grab time wherever available.
I hate this. I feel like a needy, whiny little f**k, who can never be satisfied, even in the middle of what's become the best relationship of my adult life. He's giving me everything he possibly can...is it that I still want more?
Or am I just scared because I have a good relationship and don't know how to respond to life when it's on an even keel? In short, am I a drama queen jonesing for the old emotional rollercoaster ride?
There is so much GOOD going on right now. He's sweet, kind, thoughtful, nurturing. He's sexy and hot as a firecracker. I have never felt so much love, nor been given so much love in return. What's more (and this is the different part), he's as nuts about me as I am for him.
Yet, last night, I felt like running the other way.. fast. I began to doubt everything. It's almost as if, as long as he's right there, right next to me, everything's fine. When we're apart, I begin to doubt what we have.
The crazy cycles that occur have produced unpredictable behavior in the past: neediness, approach/avoid behavior, declarations of devotion immediately followed by tricking around (on my part, not his). I'm suddenly so afraid I'm going to f**k this up by repeating the old pattern.
This is an ugly post. If anybody is reading this, you're probably a bit taken aback, since this journal has been so upbeat, positive, and, well, sorta "Mattee Lite" up until now. Honesty can be scary.
Feedback, comments needed and appreciated, folks!
Be Afraid. Be VERY Afraid...
Yesterday afternoon, John Ashcroft was confirmed as Attorney General. Read the Washington Post report, and the Salon version.
"Guess what, if I'm the president, we're going to have gag orders..."
Hmm, I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of gagging over the next 4 years1. But at least this piece on Salon made me laugh today.
1 No smarta** comments about my gag reflex are necessary, thank you!