matteecentral.com: theBuzz

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Off to Philadelphia!

I'm taking the train to Philadelphia tomorrow for the first weekend of the Philadelphia Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. It's going to be a weekend of film, food, and fun, hanging out with my much -neglected buddies Joe, Paul, and Bill. I'll be away from the computer, but I'll try to keep notes on the films I see, as well as memorable meals or funny events that occur.

Work in progress....

If you want to watch me develop my Greymatter-powered blog, click here to check it out! click HERE to go to the "live" page (dead link fixed 9/6/01).

Uncle!

Had it with add-on comments systems! It's nobody's fault, I just can't get dotcomments to work properly again...I've spent enough time on it. Greymatter, here I come. This will be the next big change you'll see.

AWESOME Weekend!

Markie and I had a truly incredible weekend. Let's see, where do I begin? Friday night after work found me speeding to his place, sorely in need of food, snuggle time, and hot tubbage. My man saw to it I got all three. Saturday Morning: Unusual(but welcomed!) "just woke up - let's do it now!" action. Scratched the BF's itch, happily. After MST3K, the BF needed to shop.Off we went to Dick's, to Super Shoe, to Home Depot. I came home with a pair of Camo pants, plus some butch Carhartt shorts. We hit the tub again, then we napped. After dinner, we watched some tube, then got out the BF's motorcycle and rode to the bars. I felt so butch, carrying a motorcycle helmet into the local queer bar! Sunday, more snoozing, snuggling, and bedroom acrobatics. The best part of the weekend was yet to come. We went to Whitaker Center to see the fabulous Jonatha Brooke in concert. Oh. my. God! This woman rocked the house like nobody's business. I also picked up a copy of her latest CD, Steady Pull (which she autographed for me... hopefully I'll be able to scan it in and post within a few days). Ended the weekend as it began.. snuggled in Markie's arms. These 3 day weekends are such a trial! ;)

The Float Designs You Won't See at This Year's Gay Pride Parade

Too funny. It figures Dan Savage has something to do with this; I think he's a riot. link from encorswish.

.php blues

To those of you who tried to access this blog over the preceding 12 hours, please accept my apologies. My hosting company upgraded to the latest version of PHP (4.0.6) overnight. That version didn't like something in the .php code for dotcomments, so I had to pull out all PHP code, and re-publish all my pages. I am, once again, without a comments system until I either figure how to make dotcomments and my hosting company play nicely together, or I make the switch to greymatter.

Dancing with myself (oh, oh oh-oh....)

I am so stoked! Mixdaddy Ron was kind enough to send me a copy of the leatheregg summermix2001. I brought it into work, and "chair-danced", groovin' between calls. What a great pick-me-up on an otherwise routine day.

Tony Danza - Song and Dance?

I happened to catch The View today, and found out that Tony Danza is appearing at Feinstein's this week, singing, dancing, and storytelling. Is it just me, or is anyone else surprised at this? I had no idea he had a cabaret act. Tony Danza was one of my first TV crushes. How interesting to see how he's evolved. Another sign we're all getting older (*sigh*) - he recently turned 50!

What's Cookin' - Weekend of 6/23

I tend to do a lot of cooking on weekends. When I decide I'm going to do a "cooking weekend", I'll plan to cook three to four entrees that serve anywhere from 4-6 people. Sometimes I have guests over, but, more often, the resulting food gets divided into single serving containers and goes into the freezer. 3 things I use heavily: - a Crock-Pot® Slow cooker - Reynolds® Oven Bags - Reynolds Wrap® - for "packet cooking". This week's recipes: - Swiss Chicken Casserole - Chicken With Pesto Cream Sauce - Microwave Orange Roughy* *(the local supermarket didn't have any roughy...nor anything similar. I used Tilapia instead.) - Oriental Pork Tenderloin Packets For more recipe ideas, go see: - my gurlz Pat & Betty at reynoldskitchens.com - dinner unplugged™ - Crockpot Recipes and Resources

Progress...

Major steps taken by the BF this weekend. Until now, he has kept his school- age children and me almost completely separated while he determines the best way to integrate me into his life with them, and I've been letting him figure that out on his own. On Sunday night, he invited me over to the house for dinner and TV with the kids in residence. It was a delightful evening. His kids are really fun to be around. Granted, they still haven't been fully apprised of the situation, but this was a great first step. We had to alter our Sunday TV habits this week... no Queer as Folk, of course. So we watched a number of other pay TV shows we like... Sex and the City, Six Feet Under, and Arliss. This was the first time I ever watched pay TV with a pre-teen in attendance. Funny how I never really noticed the language until last night.. when every "f**k" grated like nails across a chalkboard, and both the BF and I took turns diving for the "mute" button on the remote.

Vicarious Living

Since Central PA Pride is not for several weeks yet, I have been vicariously enjoying the pride experiences reported by Beau, Tinman, and the Blogstalker. Although Beau was apparently pulling a joke, somehow I have no problem imagining him in a pair of rubber shorts with hubby Jeff, gettin' down and funky in the midst of a bunch of shirtless disco boys. Is that so wrong?? :) Hurray for Tinman and his very positive Pride Day experience. Here's hoping you get the opportunity to learn more about "Wales...".

WTF?

Hmmm, wasn't there a big hoo-ha about Sinead being a lesbian just a few months ago? Suddenly she's getting married. Mmm-kay. From bald Pope-Picture-Ripper to "Mother Mary" to lesbian to happy bride - to - be? Somebody better hope she's setting aside serious funds for therapy for herself and her kids... lord knows they'll all need it someday.

Outage follow - up:

As I predicted, I received an explanatory e-mail from my hosting provider about the Friday/Saturday outage: Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2001 10:34:44 -0400 (EDT) From: Jason Hatch <*****@your-site.com> To: ***************@your-site.com Subject: [Your-Site]: Service Restored Sender: *********************@your-site.com Reply-To: *****@your-site.com Dear Customer, I'm writing to inform you that we experienced a hardware issue with our Network Appliance filer Friday night into Saturday morning (10pm - 9am EDT) that caused an interruption of web and FTP service. We worked through the night to correct this problem and we were able to resolve it without any loss of data. Part of the delay was due to the shipment of replacement parts. One part came in within 3 hours, unfortunately the other took a bit longer. Mail was not affected by this problem. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this outage may have caused. At Your-Site, we take our uptime very seriously. Needless to say, we are working hard to improve the reliability of our service and to reduce the likelihood of problems like this happening again. If you have any comments, questions or concerns about this incident, please respond to me personally. Sincerely, Jason Hatch ---------------------------------------------------------- Jason Hatch, Owner and Network Administrator Your Site Virtual Server Solutions (XXX) XXX-XXXX(voice) (XXX) XXXXXXX(fax) Visit our Web Site at http://www.your-site.com We offer quality Web Hosting for as low as $5/mo! ---------------------------------------------------------- That's why I love this provider. They ALWAYS explain if something goes wrong, and their communications always make me feel like a valued customer. You really can't beat it for the price.

Geez! How embarrassing!

Tinman was asking for suggestions on hosting providers, as he is contemplating getting his own domain and moving his blog off Blog*Spot. I sent him and e-mail telling him how great I think my provider is, how pleased I am, etc. So, he went to check my site tonight. Tinman: "are you *sure* that (your provider) is that good?" Matteecentral and my provider's home page are both down right now. Is my face red? UPDATE 0900 EDT 6/23/2001: Nine hour outage. This is the first lengthy problem I've experienced since moving to Your-Site in February. I suppose if I had an-e commerce or mission - critical business site, that would be unacceptable. Since it's just a personal site, and since I only pay them 7.00 a month for hosting, I'm not too concerned. If this happens more frequently, well.... we'll see.

Pronunciation Guide

Ian(sie) wants to know:

"How do you pronounce Matte (sic) anyway? Because, re-reading, I see I put Matte, ratty and tatty in the same sentence. Oops."

My reply: It's "Mattee.. (also spelled Matty, Mattie) like tatty and ratty and catty (not a fatty) like Patty( as in Duke, Hearst, LuPone) sorta like "Daddy" have I answered your question? I'm Mattee!

Don't you wish you had a cool e-mail address?

Yahoo! has a strange idea of "what's cool", IMO. Yeah. Real cool, dude. <bitchy queen> "Get a load of HER!" </bitchy queen>

I'm certifiable...

I completed my online exam for a certification required by my client. Now I'll be able to throw some initials behind my name on a business card or resume (not posting the certification or initials here...I get enough weird searches as it is).

Stumped...

Jonathan, what the hell is a "french crack"?

Excuse me whilst I remove the foot from my mouth...

(06/22/2001: not to mention correct my spelling errors! D'oh!) Readers of Jonathan's and/or David's Blog may be aware that these hansome handsome Brit bloggers are crossing the pond for a visit from 20-30 July. In an e-mail exchange with Jonathan, I said that a blogmeet would be in order, and that I wouild even love to schlep in from Pennsylvania to meet them. He responded positively to the idea. One small problem. I don't live in New York. I've spent very little time there. How on earth am I to arrange a blogmeet when I would have no idea where to suggest we meet, much less how to get there once a location is decided? *sigh*. Just another example of speaking (or in this case, typing) before thinking.

It's that time again....

The Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival kicks off in the city of brotherly love on July 5. I'm making the trek to Philly for both weekends with my "film seesters"... Joe, Paul, and Bill and I are going to gorge ourselves on film, food, and fun! Last year, we managed to squeeze in as many as six films a day.

Ooooh!

Ron got a mention on MeFi for the musical challenge on the Road Rally 2001 Site.

Farewell...

We'll miss you, baby....

Yeah, Baby....

Jocko has redesigned. Cool graphics, HOT pictures, plus some bio stuff and his workout routine. You go, boy.

Glam I am...

If you're a sturtle-head like me, you know that Running with Scissors, et. al. are mounting a production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. On the movie site, you can discover your "Glam Rock" name. Just call me Midnight Love. link via v-hold.

Hillside Report

Yes, it took me long enough, I know..... First of all, I was lucky enough to be permitted to leave work early Friday night, so we got to the campground just before midnight. Mark and I got our tent and cots set up in about 20 minutes, then moseyed down to the bonfire to hang out. It wasn'y long before we both tired out, after a work day and 2 1/2 hours on the road, so we hiked up the hill back to the tent and cuddled in our double sleeping bag. Most of Saturday was spent either preparing for, being at, or winding down from the Pennsmen Party at our site. Lots of beer, lots of punch, lotsa men, lotsa boyz. Since Mark and I are, well, gregarious, we were kept busy "working the crowd". More parties that night, and fun at the bonfire...which was needed, as Saturday night was colder than Friday. Sunday we just relaxed... at at the canteen, hung out by the fire, until finally rousing ourselves to pack up and go around noon. OK, that was the G-rated version. Wanna know more? E-mail me at this address.

Ooh, freaky...

Reading Blogstalker today, where the EB had memories triggered by this mix tape he was playing:

"We were in London, staying at that ratty President Hotel...."

I'm almost certain I stayed there in 1983... and if so, he's right, it's ratty. I was 18, just inching my way out of the closet, and in England for a high school choir and Band tour. Somehow, I ended up with a single room (as I recall, most others had to share), and I remember savoring that respite, that privacy in a strange country. I was in the midst of an illicit (and highly dangerous) fling with an adult back home (who should have known better), and I needed time to clear my head and stop feeling like such a freak. I had always felt like an outsider, but it was even worse now that I was actively sexual (with "an older guy", R. was about the age I am now.) I remember slipping out to a newstand, and buying a british porn mag.... similar to First Hand or Beau. I remember "wanking" myself several times that night, (crying too, as I considered the double life I was leading), thanking the stars for that private room. Too bad I didn't know where the queer clubs were. Wouldn't it have been fun to run into Jonce, Ian or David? Where were you eighteen years ago, boys?

Quote

"Congrats to winners 12.5, 12, 11 and 10 in the EAST WEST Twister Finalists. If the rest of the pics are as hot as number 10, things could turn fun!"

-Chris of encorswish < BLUSH > Gosh... < /BLUSH >

Into the Woods

I'm off to the Endless Mountains for Leather/Levi Weekend #1 at Hillside. Gee, wonder if I'll have any bloggable stories...?

Hey, I made the top 12.5!

Some of you may find this hard to believe (while others of you know what trash I am..), but I have a confession to make... I entered the East Coast / West Coast 12500 Naked Twister Contest. Originally, I'd asked RJ to keep my identity secret, because.. well, I don't know why...I mean, who am I kidding? It's not as if this queen's ever going to run for office, or anything. Imagine my shock this afternoon to see my naked torso listed as Mr. Number 10. God, I can't believe it! Lets see, I'd like to thank my family, my boyfriend, and the members of the Academy for bestowing this honor upon me...(oops, wrong speech..) Seriously, thanks, boyzzz. Body image issues, me??? All forgotten now.....

Where I've been....

My regular readers will note that my blog entries have been sparse this week; When I have posted, the entries have been rather lame (thanks, Jonce, for your inquiry into my mental health, but I assure you, we're all fine... the voices in my head said so). I have the kind of job that has a lot of down time. Although sometimes call volume is high, and sometimes I have projects to do, for the most part, I'm sitting waiting for the phone to ring. Up till now, this has been prime blog posting and reading time. I never worried much about it, until the last couple of weeks. I'm aware that all visits to sites outside the company firewall are monitored, and company policy explicitly states that the internet is for work purposes only. Last week, some of my regular blog reads began being blocked by the company filtering software. To me, this indicates that someone is watching my surfing. I think this is a non-issue with my client manager, but I can't be sure. Although my performance evals have been excellent, the fact is, I'm a contractor who can be sacked with little notice. While I can make the case that I'm teaching myself web-design by surfing these sites (entirely true), the fact is that web-design is not part of my job function. My updates may be less frequent, but I will strive to provide content worthy of my audience. Thanks to Danman and moosedogtoo for the new linky - love, I hope you keep coming back.

M is for....

- Moss. Pulled all this dead/dying moss out of a mere 6 -by- 6 foot patch of my front yard. Any wonder why I have no grass?

More must-see (pay) TV...

My descent into Pay - TV obsession is continuing apace with the premiere of Six Feet Under, the latest offering from the mind of Alan (American Beauty) Ball. Sunday night's episode introduced us to the Fisher family, owner/operators of a funeral home in Pasadena. Nate (the handsome Peter Krause, snackier then ever with his scruffy beard), dutiful David (Michael C. Hall), wild-child Claire (Lauren Ambrose), mother Ruth (Frances Conroy), and Papa Nathaniel (Richard Jenkins) (killed when his new hearse is broadsided by a mass-transit bus.) The sudden death throws this already-dysfunctional group into even more of a mess. Each character seems to have their own well of secrets that threatens to overflow at any moment. I worked in a funeral home over several summers, so I was interested to see this show. I can tell you that a lot of what was presented rang true...Ruth's frustration at her husband "never leaving the business", the pressure felt by David to "keep the business in the family", the rebellious ones either fleeing (as did Nate) or acting out (Claire). Of particular note was David's secret relationship with a cop. God, have I seen this scenario. Life divided neatly in two. Something tells me this won't be a secret for long... Fortunately, the BF has the pay channels and several VCR's. We'll have plenty to watch this year, that's for sure.

"Sexual Mc Carthyism"

Andrew Sullivan writes this article about attempts to "out" him as the author of personal ads that solicit unprotected ("bareback") sex with other HIV-positive individuals. Although I often do not see eye to eye with Mr. Sullivan on political issues, and frankly, don't "get him" a lot of the time, that is irrelevant. This kind of "journalism" is unconscionable. Whether or not I agree with or understand the whole "barebacking" phenomenon is another thing entirely. I don't get it, I think it's crazy. Still, it serves no practical purpose to take allegations of someone's personal, consensual behavior and hold them up for public scrutiny, important media person or not. I don't care what kind of sex Andrew Sullivan has...the only way I'd care is if he was trying to do me, and that ain't gonna happen. All I can think of is some evil nelly "auntie" victoriously gloating, "Oooh, girl, have I got the dirt on her!" This type of "nasty queen" journalism is insulting and tiresome. Memo to Ms. Signorile: get down off your high horse, gurrrl. Get a new act... this one is tired.

What I'm Listening to today...

Shawn Colvin: Cover Girl(1994) Dido: No Angel (1999) Boy George and Culture Club: At Worst...The Best of Boy George and Culture Club (1993) Lisa Stansfield: #1 Remixes [EP] (1998)

theBuzz has been dotcomment-ed!

Yes, it's true. I was able to install dotcomments successfully - as Dan said, "read the README". After reading through several times, I was able to run dotcomments in a test directory. It took another hour to get everything re-pointed to my original blog directories, but here we are. Comment away, my darlings....

Holiday Report

Fairly quiet busy weekend here at Matteecentral. Friday after work, I decided to go out for a drink. Nothing exciting to report, hung out with the guys at Neptune, stopped at the 704, then went back to the (by then packed) Neptune for last call. As a result, I did not wake up until almost noon on Saturday. Moviate.org was sponsoring the 3rd Annual Artsfest Film Festival 2001 this weekend, and the featured speaker was none other than the fabulous John Waters (link to an unofficial fan site). After a screening of Female Trouble, I joined a couple of friends for a lecture by Waters. Clad in a trademark black suit, he accented his outfit with a pair of red sneakers. He proceeded to fill the next hour and 15 minutes with commentary on each of his films, as well as jokes and wry asides that kept the audience laughing throughout. Saturday night, the kids were at an 'N-Sync concert, so the BF and I actually got some time alone during a kid week. We snuggled, hit the hot tub, watched the tube, and otherwise had a great time. Sunday, I went "up North" to a memorial day party hosted by a former boyfriend and his partner. Always refreshing to see how the rural gay boys manage to flourish and develop strong social networks without benefit of a "bar scene" or other urban trappings. The two gay couples in this small neighborhood of new homes mix in effortlessly with many of the het neighbors. Sunday night, back home, I again went out to the bars. I spent some time providing special attention to D., whose fairly new nipple piercings had healed to the point where he wanted them worked...so I obliged. It always gives Daddy Mattee a thrill to watch a boy's eyes roll back into his head in ecstasy. Monday, another late wake-up. I decided to check out the Artsfest after all, so I walked up and down riverfront a couple times. My take: a lot of tzatchkes, and the good stuff was way out of my price range. Walking around was tiring, so I went home and napped. I was awakened by a phone call from my love, asking me to go for a boat ride. He'd had the kids out on the water, and was sending them home. I met him at the City Island boat ramp a short time later, and we went back out on the river just as dusk was falling. It was a beautiful night, cool but not uncomfortable, and the river was virtually deserted... we saw only two or three other boats. We snuggled a little bit (but not too much, for fear of tipping the boat!), then decided we were hungry. We docked and ate at the Riverside G-Man. Back accross the river, we loaded the boat on the trailer, then took it back to the Garage. We had a few more minutes together in the studio, then parted... he to the kids, me back home and in bed just after midnight.

Gay teen speaks...

This story got to me. Why is it that "fag baiting" (and bashing) is the last acceptable predjudice, the bad behavior for which no one gets in trouble?

Disaster recovery drill...

In order to be prepared to function in the event of major problems at my client's data center, they have set up an alternate work location. I am here tonight, testing systems and waiting for calls; systems are go and calls are slow... zzzzzzzzzz. What makes this worse is my co-worker is sitting in our regular office a few miles away, so we have to call each other to consult on issues. Even worse, no speakers on these machines down here... can't even play CD's.

Temporary BV outage.

As suggested by Chris in the Blogger discuss area, I've commented out BV code until the BV server issue can be addressed.

Timely tips, courtesy of The Onion:

As many bloglanders know, my dear blog-seester Boo Woo and her hubby GG are preparing to pack up hearth and home to depart for the wilds of Sullivania and "homo-wnership". How fortuitous, then, that the Onion has seen fit to publish Moving Day Tips.

Outages :(

Boy, Blogvoices is down hard...even the BV link button has disappeared. Unfortunately, it appears Blog*Spot is as well. This means many of my favorite blogs are out of commission:

akafrankgreen; East Coast/ West Coast; Everlasting Blogstalker; overyourhead; Swish Cottage; Tinman...

*sigh*. Miss you all, boys!

I love intrigue...

Intriguing person for 5/22/2001: I met one of the BF's gazillion cousins yesterday. This gent is in his late sixties, and, when I met him, he was wearing a baseball cap, sneakers, jeans... you know, casual clothes. At first glance, he looks like any one of a number of men his age in this steel town. Then I began to notice a few things that made my radar go "ping!". 1. He had small gold studs piercing both earlobes. While this is hugely common among 15 to 30 year olds in this area, it is most unusual in this age bracket. 2. His nails were very long, perfectly shaped, and coated with clear polish. Again, an unusual sight in his age group in this town. 3. Per the BF, the cousin frequently hangs out at the lesbian bar in an adjoining township. OK, readers, what's your thought? Maybe just a "dyke daddy?" That's what I thought, until... 4. I joked to BF that maybe his cousin was a drag queen. He repeated this to his hetero male employee, whose response was, "No sh**. Didn't you see the pictures of him all dressed up at Halloween?" Uh, no. (But then again, we WERE pretty busy at that point, having met two weeks before.. :) ) Holy sh**. The BF may have an actual cross-dresser in his family. The BF just laughed, and said that if someone looked hard enough, "at least one of everything" could be found in his family. Oh, this same cousin goes around town with a cooler of beer in his back seat, frequently with an open container in his hand while driving. He also sells guns out of his car, and is always carrying at least one on his person. (Note to self: NEVER criticize Cousin's choice of handbag, shoes, or wig color...)

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm!

Okay, Keith's not showing his ass, but I'm of the opinion that his face alone can put a spring in many a man's, uh... step.

Welcome back...

A warm "howdy" to PJ, who is back with a new design. (Chromewaves has also been added to my list of links.)

Quotable

"Oh boy, what that boy couldn't do with a paperclip and some free time. YOWZER!" Beau of GGWoo, referring to my "gutter of a mind". (HONEY! You don't know the half of it....)

Meeting an online Pal...

I had the pleasure of meeting Gordon (AKA "Sluggo", click here to check the blurb on my "Friends" page) over the weekend. Gordon's a flight attendant, and he had a stopover in Harrisburg Saturday/Sunday, so we were both eager to meet after 2 years of online correspondence. Mark and I met Sluggo and another flight attendant (John) for breakfast on Sunday. Again, it was one of those deals where we felt like old friends even though we'd never even spoken on the phone until Saturday night. We hung out in the hotel dining room, gabbing until they threw us out. Pictures were taken by the pool (although we had to be rescued from the pool area when we discovered the door we'd used locked behind us.), and were taken with a regular camera, so the film roll will have to be used up and developed before the pictures are posted. Wait 'till you see how cute that boy is!

Fun with the leather lads

Markie and I spent Saturday night hanging with our beloved Pennsmen in the 'burg. The man and I donned a festive combination of camo and leather, and had a blast. We arrived just after the hot wax and bondage demonstration (damn!), but Mark got his boots shined, I watched a flogging... a good time was had by all. We were invited to the "after party", and fully intended to go. We made the mistake of going home to eat and take a pre-party nap; I crashed hard, waking up only long enough to murmur, "we're not going, are we, honey?", before rolling over and immediately going back to sleep. Oh well, can't be a dynamo ALL the time. Whoo-hoo...Hillside trip is coming up soon....I'll make up for it then :)

I see you, baby...

The big box of new duds arrived just as I was leaving for work on Friday, so I didn't get a chance to open or try on anything then. Mattee is now set for work; for the first time in over a year, I'm wearing clothes that fit correctly and don't show obvious signs of wear. Add 3 pairs of new shoes, an armload of dress and casual socks, and upcoming belt purchases.. I look and feel GREAT! (Pictures may appear later.)

Groovalicious Thang at work...

Things are quiet at the HellDesk. What I'm listening to: Sade: The Best of Sade Erasure: Pop!-First 20 Hits Shawn Colvin: A Few Small Repairs Duran Duran: Greatest

Speaking of the words "Annoying" and "recording"....

Hallelujah! As of today, I am free, FREE from the (not fun) bondage that is Magenta¹ House. I have now completed my obligation (5 CD's at full price). As soon as those little f***ers are received, I'm sending off a registered letter telling them to leave me the hell alone. ___________________ ^1.I disguised it so it won't be picked up by search engines. think a bit... it's the evil place that entices you with cheap CD's, then kills forests sending you solicitations for the rest of your life. Still puzzled? OK, think Rocky Horror...."Magenta! C_______!")

Annoying Recording industry trend #456543....

Am I the only one who is bugged as sh** by the recent trend to stamp a music CD with only an illustration instead of any information, such as who the artist is?? I was just puzzling over, "What music is encoded on this stupida** leopard-print CD that I have in my car changer?" Leopard print... I shoulda known it was Ms. Elton.

Search Requests that caught my eye...

"piercing+slut" "naked pictures of Tim McGraw"

Dreamhost is toast/ Blog jones

WAAAH! Something's up at Dreamhost. None of their sites are Some of their sites are not available. No backroom (*sob!*). No Keithers, no leatheregg, no 'fredo (*wail!*). What will I do? What WILL I do? God, I feel like a junkie.. "Hey, psst, dude, you got any leatheregg cached? I'm jonesin' bad. No? How 'bout some 'fredo? I'll even let you use my burner and give you a blank cd..."

Thank god and Thank You, Home Depot!

As already widely reported in 'blogland, Home Depot has apparently realized how many queers spend money in it's hallowed locations. Thank JAY-sus...I can now go satisfy my Homo Depot jones and Markie can go pay for his backordered major purchases without feeling guilt.

Memos to Keith:

1. Re: the "abdominalicious" one: Uh, no. I imagine me in bed with Tim McGraw, thankyouverymuch. 2. Re: the weight loss. Many congratulations! It just goes to show how much eating habits make a difference. I mean, you're obviously not starving yourself, nor are you killing yourself with an insane gym workout routine. Now, the major question: when do we get to see pictures of that ass (or at least more recent photos of your face)? Come on, baby, flaunt your stuff! :) All kidding aside, honey, I think it's safe to say we blog boys are proud of you.

Azalea Riot

Unbelievable. The Azaleas in my front flower bed have exploded into these beautiful flowers... with no intervention on my part. Can you imagine what they'd look like if I pruned the bushes and properly fertilized and mulched the bed??

Buh-Bye, OL2000!

Well, I'm ditching OL 'cuz, hello, I can't read a number of the e-mails I've received recently... (in a bizarre twist, I couldn't even read tech Support e-mail from G***w*y, the entity who installed the software in the first place!) I downloaded the decoding programs from the 'net that are supposed to "work alongside" the e-mail app. Forget it.. and with little to no documentation, I had no success in being able to read the unreadable. What REALLY sucks about this is that I support the Enterprise/Network version of Exch****/O*tl**k at work (which is much better than the single-user version, by the way.), where I am considered to be the "O*tl**k Geek". How embarrassing that I can't fix this problem! Anyway, I'm going to download Eud*ra over the weekend. Any other suggestions for an e-mail program??

Happy Anniversary!

sturtle.com is one year old today. Congratulations, Richard!

Verbally Spanked..

("Thank You, Sir! May I have another??") I received an e-mail from one of my beloved regular readers (who shall not be linked to avoid outing him as a reader of / contributor(?) to the backroom), who felt my characterization of this blog as "basically porn" was shortsighted and unjust. He writes:

"I hope the site is more than just porn. After all, these are real guys talking about their lives, their relationships, and yes, their sexual experiences. It's not just to get each other off."

Apologies if anyone at the backroom felt slighted by my characterization. If I didn't think the blog had some value, I wouldn't have linked to it... besides, did I ever say I thought porn was a bad thing :) ?

A nagging issue...

I recently made the difficult decision to stop using Netscape Navigator 4.7x. For the past month, I have been slowly transitioning to other software packages, such as CuteHTML to replace Composer, Opera to replace Navigator, and, finally, Outlook 2000 to replace Messenger. For some reason, Outlook 2000 will not allow me to see messages encoded in US-ASCII format. I therefore receive blank e-mails from some of my correspondents, including a few important ones from my Evil Long Distance Provider. For the past two days, I have been patiently slogging through Tech Support Websites, chat areas, and e-mails. First, I went to Micr*s**t, who advised that, because my software came bundled with my computer, I would have to get help from the Manufacturer. I then contacted G****** through their support chat¹. The tech there directed me to re-install OL 2000. I did so, with no change. Since I didn't have time to wait in a chat queue, I replied with an e-mail that this solution was not helpful. I also included my previous Event number and attached a winrep² file to the e-mail to help further diagnose the problem. I received a prompt e-mail back, stating that there was nothing further they could suggest. Hmmm. I'm not complaining. I'm a Help Desk technician myself, and both entities were prompt, courteous, and helpful to the extent possible. Unfortunately, I still have unreadable e-mail. Since I AM a support geek, I have access to Micr*s**t Technet through my job. Even after searching all the knowledge bases, I found only one article that might apply to my situation, and it basically said, "There's no fix for this, but there are some third party products that might help you." Argh. Has anybody: -run into this problem where you can't read US-ASCII encoded mail using an OEM version of Outlook 2000/Micr*s**t Office 2000 Small Business Edition? -used any of the following products to decode unreadable mail? -Fastcode32 -Wincode -WinZip Any feedback would be appreciated. _____________________ ^1. I've never done support chat before. Can't really see the benefit of doing it this way versus the phone... except that the wait time MIGHT be shorter. ^2. winrep is a utility used for support where the user fills out a narrative describing the issue, and the utility takes this info plus copies all the config and system info files on your PC, then zips them up into a .CAB file that then can be attached to an e-mail.

"The World's Largest Collection of Gay Advertising"...

...can be found at Commercial Closet. Part of the Datalounge network.
(link via v-hold.)

Linky Love Update!

New Linkage: the backroom -yes, it's basically porn. So sue me. EMeRGe a cutie who is interestingly in the midst of posting all the e-mails exchanged between he him and his last boyfriend... time will tell whether my fascination holds up. lots of co. (Max) Educator Supreme. Several of my Blog Buds love him to pieces, so... Tinman Dauntingly expressive. Incredibly vulnerable. Cute as a button. unshaven(J dub) whatta butchy slab o' man! YUM! v-hold Daddy V, you are so gonna kick ass at IML! My more sharp-eyed readers may notice that some links have been removed. If you want to know why I've removed anybody, e-mail me.

Home Depot does not equal "Homo Depot", after all.....

My friends know how much I have always loved to go to Home Depot, even if there wasn't something in particular I needed to buy. Guurrrl! The eye-candy (staff and clientele) made each trip a worthwhile experience¹. It is with great sadness that I report that my buying (and cruising) habits may need to change markedly. It appears, although the stockholders are demanding revisions to the company non-discrimination policy to extend protections to GLBT folk, Home Depot is on record as opposing making any change to existing policy. This despite the fact that many major retailers have adopted inclusive policies, despite the fact that the company benefits from lots of queer money. Read the Planet Out coverage here (via Yahoo!). Read the company's official statement here. Meanwhile, I'm going to Lowe's. (link via Jillmatrix.) ________________________________ ^1. The best "eye-candy" time at any home improvement superstore is during the regular workday, when all the hot contractors are in buying supplies. WOOF!

And now, here's something I know will make you REALLY nauseous...

Mattee: Hi Honey! BF: Hi Sweetie! Mattee: I have a question for you.. BF: OK... Mattee: Who's your Boyfriend? BF: You are, Mattee.... Mattee: eee-Yess, Aren't I??? (with apologies to Kia and Victor)

Somethin' in da wattuh....

Ernie is right. WTF? All these East Coast Blogger Boys are HOTTIES!

Sunday, Faboo Sunday

After Saturday's Great Woo Encounter, I beat feet back to my house and began getting it ready for company. The house had been a wreck for a long time, and it was made worse by the carpet removal project. So, I had quite a job ahead of me. My house, however, is not DIRTY... (except for dust bunnies), just unkempt because I'm a piler and saver. Plus, I inherited my paternal Grandma's attitude about cleaning, which basically boiled down to, "Why clean when I have this good book to read?" (or in my case "Book to read/TV show to watch/web page to design/weblog to read.") I worked like a dog that night on laundry and cleanup, but when I woke up on Sunday, the place was still a disaster... and Ron was due in 10 hours! I called the BF and wailed, "Ohmygod! Honey, there's so much to do..." Daddy Mark soothingly told me that I'd get it done, encouraged me to take it a step at a time, and said he'd be over after six, at which point he'd pitch in. (on a side note, have I mentioned (today) that I love my BF? He's never uttered a word about the way I (don't) keep my house... even though his house is usually spotless.) Anyway, the cleaning gods smiled on me, and I got 5 rooms and a bathroom presentable for company. Meanwhile, Mark came over, brought dinner in, helped me with details, then went to the store while I showered. By the time Ron showed up, all was well. My god, the years have been kind... he looks HOTTER than ever :). He and Mark hit it off right away; we sat around, talking and taking smoke breaks on the stoop. He brought me up to date on what's been going on in his life over the last 6 years, and he told us all about the road rally, even showing us a lot of the material that was used over the course of the day. No wonder he just switched cars and kept going when his suddenly died... if I had done all that work, there would be no way I'd have missed it either! Sunday night was also the first time Mark ever spent the night at my house... so we snuggled together in my guestroom on an air mattress while Ron stayed in my room. Good thing we gave the mattress a test run before taking it camping... it failed. The mattress deflated overnight, and, while that was uncomfortable, we both agreed it was better to find out now than when we're at Hillside in a tent, laying on the rocky ground. This morning, Mark had to get to work early, so Ron and I sat, had coffee, ate bagels, and gabbed some more. Thanks to Blog Magic... the years and distance had already melted away, and it seemed like we'd never been out of touch. I saw him off just before 11 AM, and we promised that it wouldn't be another 6 years before we saw each other again. Oh, and can you stand it?? I had not 1, but 2 digital cameras plus an Advantix at my disposal. Do you see any pics of Ron and me? No, 'cuz dizzy Mattee just sorta forgot to take any. D'oh!

Feel the Woo, baby!

(Left to right: Jeff, Mattee, Beau)
Today, Mark and I went to meet Beau and Jeff (who were in town visiting Jeff's folks). We had a fabulous time talking about some Harrisburg History (Three Mile Island, Hurricane Agnes), about bloggers we love to read, and the Woo's upcoming home purchase. On our way home, Mark observed that Beau and I seemed like old friends. Thing is, I'd never even spoken to Beau on the phone before today. That's the beauty of the 'blog world... I think the amount of personal, intimate material that's shared makes it feel as if we've known each other a long time. Thanks for the visit, boys!

Here it is!

Ok, readers, what do you think? So far, I've gotten thumbs up from:

-the BF -Beau and Jeff (see above) -Jocko

Now it's your turn. Discuss, or send me a private e-mail.

Mattee's Trashy Jeopardy!®

Mattee: "I'll take illicit "waxing the carrot" fantasies for $800.00, Alex." Alex Trebek: "Answer: A muddy old sleeveless adidas® gym shirt." Mattee: "If I could be a piece of clothing, what would I want to be?"

Anticipation...

(think Carly Simon /Heinz Ketchup.. the Frankenfurter references have already been done.) I'm getting a double-dose of Bloggy Goodness this weekend, with TWO blog collisions scheduled. On Saturday, the Woo's are coming to visit GG's family. At some point, the 3 of us are gonna go get cawfee and tawk (and maybe BF will join as well.) On Sunday, as previously mentioned, Ron will be arriving at MC to hang with me and Markie. Look for reports and pics at the beginning of next week, as well as a "baldy" shot or two!

Just another Manic Millennium

The Onion rocks, as usual. For those of you who have ever asked, "Why me, God?"¹ ___________________ ^1. My Born-Again Christian Friends from high school would be shocked at this blasphemy. Wonder how many of them are queer now?

Whatever....!

All you Survivor Gurleens out there are a hoot. I don't know, maybe it's 'cuz I work nights, but I have simply been unable to get into the whole "Survivor/Big Brother/Millionaire/Weakest Link" reality TV gig. So tell me.... what attracts YOU to reality TV and the "game shows"?

I did it..

Well, it's done. For the first time, my head is completely shaved. Not just clippered. Not High-and-tight. B-A-L-D. I'm going to borrow the boyfriend's digital camera and post a pic, so you can tell me what you think.

When Blogs Collide (Susquehanna Edition I), PLUS...

Whoo-hoo! I'm so psyched. This Sunday, ever-so-woofy Ron is stopping in Harrisburg on his way back to Boston from Road-Rally planning. What makes this extra-special? For those of you that don't know, Ying and I used to date.. we met in 1988 (when the only thing that he had pierced was his ear...how vanilla!), and I fell head over heels (or was that heels over head?) for him. For any number of reasons, it didn't work out, but we parted as friends. I haven't seen him since 1995, so we have a lot of catching up to do (so, will I get to see all the additional piercings and tattoos?). Unfortunately, Marlin will not be with Ron on this trip, so I still won't get to meet him. Next time... Plus, coming soon to a blog near you, When Blogs Collide (Susquehanna Edition II): The Woo Experience. Beau and I have already sworn that he, Jeff and I will meet the next time they're in town... providing Beau can keep his fingers out of his in-laws long enough to go to dinner, that is!

Speaking of "Oh. my. God!"...

Today was the day for my yearly Central air system inspection and maintenance. The tech the company sent over was definitely snacky. Shaved head, goatee, in cute little shorts...YUMMY! Of course, I was totally professional, as was he...but as soon as he went down to the basement, I called Mark at work, gasping, "Oh my Lord, honey... you should see him!" He howled laughing, and said he could come back -- "we could double-team him". TRASH! I tell you, my boyfriend is absolute trash...but that's why we get along so well! Anyway, after Mr. Hunky Tech left and my heart rate returned to normal, I called the company dispatcher (a bar buddy of mine), and personally thanked him for sending this vision to my home. He laughed, saying, "I knew you'd like him!" (*sigh*)

Bagel Heaven

The BF and I send kudos to Ron, who recently posted the recipe for Irving's Spicy Cheese Spread. The BF was planning to bring over a ladder for my bathroom painting project, so I went out early and picked up bagels from Manhattan Bagel and whipped up a batch of the spread. Oh. my. God! The resulting warm, toasty, gooey bagel is heaven on earth.

They say it's your Birthday...

Happy happy Birthday, "big bro" Joe. I love you.

Remembrance and absolute eloquence:

Richard talks about "remembering why" he loves Jonno.

I geek, you geek, he geeks, she geeks, one geeks....

I am hardly what one would classify as a "writer". Nonetheless, I love language and words...I was a little vocabulary queen all through school. It's no surprise that unusual use of language immediately catches my attention. Delicious Dave was enthusing about The Witches of Eastwick (a movie I love as well). Here's the passage:

"If you like the movie (or if you happen to watch it after reading this) the song he's playing for her is track 16 on the CD, titled "No. 16 in G Minor." How did I find this out? Because I geek very intensely over the movie (emphasis added), and recognized the passage from the CD instantly..."¹

That was a new one. I checked dictionary.com and found this definition of the word - as a noun. No listing as a verb. Why am I pointing this out? Not to "dis" Dave -- I think it's an inspired use of language. Here's some of the things I "geek very intensely over":

- telephones. History, trivia, equipment, infrastructure, services... - Pedro Almodóvar movies - I Love Lucy -Tales of the City

Tell me what you "geek over". ___________________ ^1. Swim, Dave. Vicious Thinks (a weblog). 27 Apr. 2001. 30 Apr. 2001 <  http://www.daveswim.com/2001_04_22_archive.cfm#3400381 >.

I was only joking...

..when I referred to a "Prison B**ch Nickname Generator". As it turns out, there really is one. WARNING: Most of the names contain derogatory words referring to gay men.

"Drag Queens and butch Dykes and boys dressed in leather..."

(sung to the tune of "a Few of My Favorite Things") Check out this funny story from The Onion. Although I sometimes inwardly (and outwardly) cringe on Pride Day when the news cameras eagerly swing toward the most outrageous DQ or man bedecked in leather and metal, I accept it as an inevitable part of the deal. The media doesn't want to show an average feygele and his boyfriend, they want pizzazz. Nothing says pizzazz like a 7-foot tall drag queen with a blue beehive and glittery nails, I guess. Drag queens and leathermen are an inextricable part of queer culture and history... remember that the Stonewall uprising was populated with a large number of sassy drag gurls. Am I always comfortable with the outlandish costumes and behavior? No... but, God, I think Pride (and queer life in general) would be dull as s**t without them. What do you think?

Like, duh!

A panel of scientists convened by the Institute of Medicine have come to the conclusion that men and women bodies respond to medications and medical procedures differently. Read the Salon Report Here.

Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty fine man (oh yeah-ah)...^*

Many, many thanks to the faboo Dave. No more Javascript errors using BV when "open (offsite) links in new window" is checked. I am officially declaring him this queer web geek's "hero of the week". (QWGHotW, or "queekie" for short). _________________ ^* Salt n' Pepa, Whatta Man, 1993.

You ARE the weakest link...

Salon's Joyce Millman says it's time to send snooty Anne Robinson back to the UK. (Read her opinion here.)

Welcome Back...

to Fredo, who was able to get his site back up after changing hosting companies.

New Linkage...

Mary CompulsiveStatChecker has done her thing, and discovered 2 more kind souls who've linked to theBuzz.. Thanks to Jonno and Shel for the mentions...

Rip and tear weekend.

No, I'm not going to some new fetish club ¹. After nearly 2 years of looking at hideous '70's orange wall to wall, (this stuff would probably even make Lileks afraid), the carpet-from-hell is being ripped out of Casa Mattee. Friday will be spent getting some supplies and moving furniture, Saturday Joe and the BF are coming over and the REAL work begins. Since I'm going to be busy over the next few days (as well as disconnecting and relocating the computer), I am taking a short blog break. I'll be back early next week. Be Well. _____________ ^1. Damn! I do, however, hope to read a full report from Jonno should he decide to visit the "new recreational facility" in NOLA.

Pop culture GOD...

(...and I mean that in a good way.) Keithers is the man. I just discovered he's a Calvin and Hobbes fan too...cool. Keith also keeps me plugged in to what's hot... what's happening... what's now... and what's not. N'sync Fruit Snacks. (*giggle*... what do you know, a product name that could be a descriptor for any one of these overexposed pretty boys...)

I'm a wiener, uh.. winner.

Wow. I finally won one of these "magic hit number" things that people are doing... I'm Mr. 3000 at bobupndown.com (protocol...is it tacky to post the magic "screen shot"??). This blog added to my link list, effective now. I'm trying to think of a way to tie "bobbing up and down" and "winning/wiener" into a tricky, trashy play on words, but I'm failing at the moment. Too distracted by the excitement of it all, I guess.

I wanna see...

Jocko's washboard! (Poor man.. he must be drowning in a sea of queer net-geek drool...and he must have an inbox full of indecent proposals.)

I just can't get enough...

of East Coast/West Coast. RJ and Flip are hip, funny, and trashy...just like me! Go there.

Grateful Happiness

One of the reasons why I was attracted to blogging is because of the sense of community that develops as one participates. I know I started reading for something to do, but I quickly established connections (or re-established, in Ron's case). I know I'm not alone in this... almost daily, I read accounts of "blog collisions" where bloggers meet face to face and feel like old friends. Another thing I love is the way people help each other. Dave of Vicious Thinks was kind enough to stop by and offer me code to try to workaround the Blog Voices/Open new window conflict. (Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out how to implement it properly... but I will, soon.) There are so many folks that have helped me make this blog and the rest of my site a better experience for visitors. (now if I can just get the site to display in NN 4.7.. oh, never mind....)

Slogging towards W3C Standards compliance...

Ugh. I've spent the night eyeballing my html and cleaning up errors. I now have 2 of my site pages and the current stylesheet validating as HTML 4.01 Transitional! I'm looking forward to displaying the W3C seal of approval on my page. After that's done, Bobby compliance is next. (too tired to link now.)

Ick.

I just upgraded to IE 5.5 (I know, I'm slow...). Boy, does my blog and site look different. Some weird stuff going on, lemme tell you. I'm scrapping my current stylesheet and re-writing from scratch...the one I cadged has a lot of "muck' in it which I think may be causing some of the strange rendering you've (been?) seeing. Please accept my apologies for the horrible "dashed" border around my headings on most pages... I never saw this until today, as it didn't show in IE 5.0. (Again, my fault for using a questionable style sheet.)

Rosie-itis

I used to like Rosie O'Donnell. Lately, whenever I see her on TV or read about her in the news, I grit my teeth. Why? - SCREECH! Is it just me, or has her shrillness factor increased 200% in the last year? I cannot listen to her show without lowering the sound and covering my ears. - The Kids. It's great that Rosie adopted kids that needed a home. It's great that Rosie helps other people who want to adopt. Somehow, though, I feel like a line has been crossed...like she talks more about it than necessary. Is it still about the kids, or is it about her? - Is she or isn't she a lesbian? You know what? I don't care. If she is a dyke and can talk about it, great. If she is queer but scared, oh well...maybe she'll get there someday. Maybe, just maybe, she's hetero. Whatever she is, let's stop speculating. It's a waste of energy, paper, ink, and time. - Her weight. Who cares? - The magazine. I cannot believe that McCall's, so-named since the 1890's, is going to be renamed for Ms. Thing. See the Onion's send-up of the new mag... it's hilarious!

Blogger/Trellix agreement

I won't link to the info, it's already been linked to death. For the last month or so, I've been seriously considering switching to Greymatter, because I've been fearful that Blogger would abruptly disappear. It's wonderful news that the Trellix/Blogger alliance will help Pyra gain some much needed stability.

Microsoft has a sense of humor???

The Microsoft Office Assistant "Clippy" may actually be out of a job. This Microsoft site (featuring Gilbert Gottfried as the voice of Clippy) is actually funny. (Props to Steve for this link.)

ZZZZZzzzzzzz

Well, for some reason, I'm being paid to work today. Considering that the corporate offices are closed, all the Plants are closed (except one in Canada that doesn't run a second shift), I don't expect to be doing much. The day staff received a total of five calls all day. I've only been here an hour and 10 minutes, already caught up on all my daily blog reads. I brought several books along to read: Conrad, Christine. Jerome Robbins: That broadway man, that ballet man. 1st. Ed. London: Booth-Clibborn Editions, 2000. Maran, Ruth. HTML: Your visual blueprint for designing effective web pages. Foster City, CA: IDG Books Worldwide, Inc, 2000. Castro, Elizabeth. XML for the world wide web: Visual quickstart guide. Berkeley, CA: Peachpit Press, 2001. (Tip o' the hat to easybib.com)

Wishing I was there..

I understand that Ron, Beau, and Sparky are getting together to watch Survivor and hang out. Although I am by no means a fan of the show, I wish I could be there... it's been too long since I've last seen Ron, and I'm all the more eager to meet Jeff and Beau knowing that they visit PA frequently. Have fun, boys!

more links...

-Queerscribe's QueerScribbles and Live Journal -Dave's "Vicious Thinks"

Statjunkie

Yes, I admit it...I'm compulsive stat checker...I usually check once a day. The only good thing about this is the pleasant surprise I feel when I discover new links from other blogs. Thanks to Keith and Jocko for the links..my site traffic has jumped since being added to their respective link lists.

Happy Birthday

Belated wishes (4/11) to Keith and many happy returns to today's birthday boy, JTBJr. of akafrankgreen

A loving tribute...

This article almost brought me to tears. Jennifer Foote Sweeney of Salon reviews " The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio: How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less," by Terry Ryan.

Bobo and GGWoo's Excellent Harrisburg Adventure...

I knew that Beau and Jeff would be in town this weekend for Passover with Jeff's family. I figured that the boys would be too busy with family stuff to arrange "When Blogs Collide: Queens of the Susquehanna." Apparently so... Beau, do you think you've started a new Passover tradition? Duuuude! Talk about an interesting way to endear yourself to your partner's family.

Lileks.com

Go there now. Laugh your ass off.

In "the Big House"

Somehow, the BF was drafted to participate in the Lockup for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Of course, this was not held in some nasty lockup, it took place in a meeting room of a downtown hotel. I decided to go with him, just because we'd barely seen each other this whole week. I ended up making a couple phone calls on his behalf (thanks, Davey!), writing out pledge slips, and brainstorming for people we could call. (I guess you could say I was his "jail b*tch".) The BF is an operator. He managed to squeeze a donation out of his divorce attorney, then had the cojones to call his ex-wife's attorney as well - too bad she was out of the office. At first, he was a little embarrassed at the amount he raised (nothing near the "goal" that was set), but he perked up considerably when he saw that his donation put him in the middle of the pack. Plus, the MDA folks were quite appreciative. All in all, not a bad way to help out. Naturally, we had to mutter "Oz" references back and forth to each other between phone calls. I thought they should have posted full size posters of Christopher Meloni, naked from the waist up, just for ambiance.

Just one look at you and I know it's gonna be a lovely day...

Ahhh, yes. The season has officially begun. Today, I turned off the heat and opened windows in the house to bring in spring air. That was all it took to put a bounce in my step (well, more than usual...) and a broad smile on my face. Something's really wrong with me...I actually find myself looking forward to mowing the lawn!

D'oh!

Found and fixed another screwed up link.. the one to KCSN.org in this post. Apologies to my readers for the sloppy coding. Thanks to those readers who have been kind enough to inform me of bad links.

Wiping drool off chin...

Like Keith, I was never a big fan of Tim McGraw (and yes, I know he and Faith are happily married). I may change my mind...the promo pictures for his new album are incredibly hot.

New Poll!

Aaaaargh! {edited 4/3/01*}Christina Aguilera has DARED to release a remake of that disco classic, Lady Marmalade. As you can tell, I'm not a fan, and I feel there are just some things that should not be messed with. But I'm a democratic kind of guy. Go listen to the clip (requires Real Audio), then vote. * two words, folks...referrer logs. Trying to keep myself out of trouble :).

Go on Down Home

The BF and I are listening to the live stream of Down Home from KCSN at CSU-Northridge. This fun show is hosted by none other than Chuck of Looka! Check out KCSN's web page (bad link fixed 04/03/01) or look up their live stream through the Windows Media site.

Nice Range of topics

Fredo(another new link!) certainly covers a range of subjects this week.. from his new job, to open relationships, to a history of Washington DC's Metro System. Reading his site makes me happy. I know why, but any attempt to explain will probably sound condescending or grandiose. I'll just leave it at that... reading Fredo's site makes me happy.

Trans-Atlantic Linkage...

...to yet another Brit blogger, the fabulously-nicknamed Iansie. While you're 'cross the pond, check out more of the United Kingdom's finest.

Happy days are here again...

Laura Schlessinger's TV show has (finally) been CANCELLED! Read the story from Salon.com here.

New link:

Check out somnolent.org. (4/30/01- Bad link fixed.. thanks, Tim.

Blog Voices and theBuzz. .:UPDATED 4/30/01:.

BV is back.. and smokin'! The Javascript is now loading on my server and the comment count has been permanently ditched. Apparently, most of the traffic bogging down BV has to do with calculating comment counts, so fuhgeddaboudit! BV functionality has been commented out of my code until further notice. I know there are other ways to include a commenting function, but I'm clueless as to how to implement them. I want to check out Greymatter, but don't have the energy or time to devote to learning and implementing it right now. For now, click on the "email comments" link, and e-mail with a preformatted subject line will appear. Although I love the idea of the (free) Blog Voices application, and greatly respect Chris for all the work he does to keep it available, I'm a damn impatient Queen. Load time for theBuzz should now be greatly improved.

Whatever you do...

...don't refer to Jonathan as "Camp". He may burst a blood vessel :). Wear your campiness proudly, baby.

Ya gotta hand it to....

Jocko, who can describe a mundane activity like shaving in such a way as to leave me breathing heavily. "Daily Delight", indeed.

Queer on Death Row

I'm so conflicted about this story, I can't even think of any way to intelligently comment. Read the story now.

What's your opinion?

I understand, you don't know him, and you really don't know me all that well yet, but , go ahead, check out the "Anniversary" poll to the right. Which idea strikes you as the most romantic? The poll is set up to allow you to make your own suggestions, too.. click on "results" without voting, then follow the hyperlink.
(Note: this poll is now closed. Click on either of the links above to see final results.)

Mousekalayoffs.

No one is immune. Disney plans to eliminate 4,000 jobs.

Digital delirium.

The BF is buying new computer equipment, and is taking the old one to his business. I've been helping him get the old one ready for the move, cleaning up files, etc. He also asked me to take home his digital camera, install it on my system, and use it so I can tell him how to set it up. This is my first experience playing with a digital camera.. It was FUN... I acted like a kid in a candy store! Here's a picture I took today:
Call me a juvenile perv if you like, but I couldn't resist taking some "below the waist" shots to show the BF. I have a feeling we're going to have fun with this thing...

Do not pass GO...

...do not collect $200.00, turn in your Fairy Shoes immediately. I did not watch 1 second of the Oscars last night. Do I have to turn in my queer membership card now??

First Daughter: Pothead?

There's part of me that doesn't give a damn whether she is or not. On the other hand, I could take much vicarious pleasure in the fact if it proved to be true.

I'm in the Wrong Movie...

Marsh Rose writes a story that I used to be able to relate to. What if your life is unrecognizable from that which you forsaw as a child or young adult? Read the story here.

Yeah, Baby!

Play, if you care dare.

Thanks to Bill at mermaniac.com for the link.

Eyebrow Blues...

Funny you should mention brows, Beau. I just got a haircut today, and I had to have the barber trim the damn things 'cuz the f***ers are getting LONG and coarse. We won't even discuss the damn back hair. I went for the first time to a barber shop in Steelton (Steelton Hair¹). At first I was annoyed about having to make an appointment, but I feel differently now that I see the results. I now have a virtually perfect fade, thank's to Brian's deliberateness and attention to detail. I mean, I can't remember the last time someone took that much time with a pair of clippers on my head.^{2 1.}Owned by Andy... this very butch and 20-something hetero Hunky. Brian's about the same age and type.. So they're straight... it's just eye candy. ^2.Well, there was one other time...and I was wearing chaps, and ...Oops, I've revealed too much!

Another new link:

overyourhead (Jonathan)

This is just WRONG....

But funny as hell. Check out Tourette's Syndrome Barbie (NOTE:Link is to a Flash Site!). To his credit, the author of the site links to serious resource material regarding Tourette's. (Link via Ian.)

Almost There!

Since Labor Day, 2000, I've been helping my best buddy Joe renovate the kitchen in his 80 year-old house. We learned tons about demolition, and how to compensate for walls and floors wildly out of square. As of tonight, after more than six months, Joe once again has running water in the kitchen...the new sink, disposal, and dishwasher installations were completed today. We both agreed that this had dragged on long enough...with no idea how we were going to coordinate schedules to finish things, Joe hired someone to attend to those details and make the room functional again. Although there is still tile, paint, and lighting to be done, my "sister" can once again cook. Hurray!

Sad, odd Coincidence.

Reading my daily dose of Swish Cottage, I came across a reference to David's friend Jonathan who "is going through hell with his poor cat". Since I am also going through the "end of life" decision about my cat, I followed the link in search of solace or wisdom. Turns out his cat is named Oliver as well. And although my Ollie isn't quite as ill, I can relate to many of the feelings he was describing.

Jittery today...

Every so often, I have a day like this. I feel all jumpy. Today, I think it's cuz my body is re-adjusting to meds after several days off for illness...plus, I took my first dose on an empty stomach. Oh well... tomorrow is another day.

Accessibility...

Hm. How is this post supposed to be interpreted? Is John just being droll or does he really not give a rat's ass whether his site is accessible to people with disabilities? (or the "upwardly hobbled", per the post, whateverthefuck that's supposed to mean. Ouch!) I know Ron is very committed to accessible sites. I've been trying to make my new pages as accessible design-compliant as I can, and have run my pages through the "Bobby" validators a few times already. Fortunately, I've also got a "test reader".. my long - time buddy Don, who has been blind much of his life and uses text-to-speech conversion to surf the web. He is going to take my new site "for a spin" after the bulk of the redesign is complete.

buzzLink Additions, 3/20/2001:

akafrankgreen East Coast / West Coast fawnyblog Jockohomo

House of Woo.. the vigil.

Sending positive thoughts and psychic hand holding to bobo and ggwoo while they wait to finalize their home purchase.

Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby....

The BF got one year older today! We went out for lunch at the Brownstone Cafe in Middletown, during which he received the predictably mushy cards from me, we made goo-goo eyes at each other and played footsie under the table. We raced back to his business, locked ourselves in the (under renovation) upstairs office, and had "dessert". His gift from me? Mark Knopfler's Sailing to Philadelphia, which has been receiving ample airplay on our favorite Radio station, WXPN FM 88.5 Philadelphia/88.1 Harrisburg.

Jumpin' on the Homo Bandwagon...

DataLounge.com article indicates that there has been a significant rise in the number of people reporting same-gender sexual activity. Hmm...more people, or proportionally the same but more admitting what's going on? Read the article.

*shudder*

During a weekend performance by the Vancouver Lesbian and Gay Choir, an audience member opened a canister of "bear spray" (similar to tear gas, from the description of the effects). Although the group's director was taken to the hospital, apparently, no one was seriously injured. Click here for one report of the incident. How frightening. As a member of a GALA Chorus, I performed on public stages for 11 years. I can't remember ever worrying about my personal safety while doing so. What a shame that we may have to start.

Farewell, Papa John... (1935 - 2001)

John Phillips, principal songwriter and founding member of the Mamas and the Papas, died early in the morning of March 18th. Click here to go to the ABC News.com story. My parents were "too old" for most 60's music (and generally not into "that hippie music" ), so there were no record collections to reference, yet the Mamas and the Papas music was interwoven throughout my childhood by the radio. I know that their music was some of my first exposure to multi-part harmony. I remember trying to separate out parts and sing along in turn with Cass, Michelle, and Denny... although I didn't know their names at the time. How many 9 year old boys remember feeling sad when Mama Cass died in 1974? I was SUCH a Baby Queer! Of course, any of us went to school in the 70's and 80's and sang in choir ended up singing cheesy, simplified choral arrangements of Monday, Monday and/or California Dreamin'. I remember reading about "father-daughter" rehab stays for Philips and daughter Mackenzie. I saw the pre- Hall of Fame documentaries, the "Behind the Music" segment. I wondered how any of them had survived the crazy world they built and inhabited for so many years. According to reports, there is new music scheduled for release. I'm looking forward to hearing more about that.

Yet another funny Onion story...

This one is about Starbuck's .beginning the "second phase" of their plan for World Domination.

Blah....

Ended up being down with a helluva stomach bug since late Wednesday night. Finally back on the road to normalcy tonight. Looking forward to catching up with reading and posting. I was able to finish another section of my redesigned site and get it posted. Click here to learn about a few of my friends. Also, I am using another blog on my site's main page to alert readers to updates, special stuff, etc. Now, off to cook dinner for the first time in days and days. (A special bear hug to my shweetie for taking such good care of me all Saturday...thanks, baby...)

Archive Hell Followup...Attention Perma-Linkers!

Due to the aforementioned archive trouble, it's likely that any links made to a particular post on this blog (before this morning) will be invalid. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Taking a break.

I will be away from Blogland for a few days. I have been spending a lot of time writing my blog and reading others over the past two weeks. While I've enjoyed every minute, I need to step back, work on the rest of my website, and do other necessary things, like sleep, eat, etc. I'll be back early the week of 3/18. Looking for something else to read? If you haven't seen it already, check out the newly redesigned and updated "Who Am I" section. (bad link fixed 03/14/2001 19:28 EST) As others have said, you may find out more than you need to know about me. Enjoy.

Archive Hell.

I've spent the last 3 hours trying to put my archive listing on the same page as my posts. What a frickin' mess... but, they are working... finally. Good Night!

How embarrassing... I misspelled the word "pronunciation" incorrectly several times on this page.. corrected now.

Thanks for the link, Steve....

My Turn..

Click here to hear my pronunciation primer for several Central Pennsylvania place names. Ying, I'll leave it up to you to do the Western PA version.

MST3K fans....Go on, Take the poll.. You know you want to...

The BF and I have an unrequited lust for Mike Nelson, the only human aboard the Satellite of Love. Being the pigs we are, our thoughts turned to the dark side: we found ourselves thinking... "gee, what do you think Mike wears under those coveralls?" (yes, I know... you can see the neckband of his white t-shirt showing... I'm talking about below the waist...). Today, while responding to an e-mail from Tim, I was telling him how much I enjoyed MST3K, when the thought suddenly struck me.."hey, why not do a poll about the "Under - the - coveralls" thing?" So, go on... take the poll. Feedback? email me at undercoveralls@matteecentral.com.

Amen, Jonno....

Your post from November pretty accurately describes the parameters that the BF and I have agreed upon. I think the whole issue is intensely personal, though, and there are plenty of options available, without classifying any of them as "right" or "wrong".

There's just no such thang...

Keith has posted an audio blog entry. In it, he says he has to keep the post short because he worries it'll "be too big". Heh. < size queen > "NEVER too big, darlin'.." < /size queen >

You say Missouri, I say Miss-oorah...

Here is Matt's commentary. The pronunciation thing is interesting.. there are scads of "local" versions of place names in PA, not to mention some of the interesting Pennsylvania Dutch vocabulary. Hmmm... I feel a meme coming on....

All Aboot Steve..

Hey, this is cool. Listen to Steve talk in a 3min11Sec audio entry. (requires Real Audio.) I concur with Matt... Steve has a great-sounding voice.. and the "about" thing... mmmmm-HMMMMM! This sounds like a great meme... now if I can just overcome my own "I hate the way my recorded voice sounds" issues (and figure out how to record a file and save it in real audio format), you may soon hear me as well. (BTW, you're right, Steve, that's a mighty fine ass.)

They'll be back...

Queer as Folk has been renewed for another season! Click here to check out the Yahoo! news item. link via the ever-so-plugged-in Keith

Note to my sweetie...

What a day you've had. Hang in there... you know I love you.

Is this not universal?

David's A to Z of the Vauxhall Tavern has been hilarious so far. Check out I is for Incestuous. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this diagram applies in virtually every homo bar on the planet.

2 men who are stunningly handsome, incredibly intelligent, AND funny as hell...

It's easy to see why TinMan is confused. I about fell off my chair laughing at work today when I saw Jonno's guide on how to tell Jonno and Jocko apart.

Oooh, I feel tingly all over...

Did anybody else besides me ( a relative blog newbie) get goosebumpy and tingly when they first started seeing themselves mentioned in someone else's blog? What does that make me? a blogslut?? UPDATE: 3.9.01 21:49 Yet another reference... mmmm.... oh YES! YES! YES! (apologies to Meg Ryan)

I've made it to the portal! I've arrived!

Ron was kind enough to add me to his list o' links recently. No wonder my site stats have bumped up sharply. Thanks, honey... *mwah *mwah.

Finally.. just the accessory I'm looking for.

I've recently wondered what I need to do that will tell the world I'm a MAN, that I'm butch, strong, large-and in-charge. Leave it to Jillmatrix to provide the solution...a big ol' pair o' gonads for my vehicle. All the pictures show them attached to trucks. Geezus. the damn things would probably be scraping the ground hanging off the ass of my sedate Saturn sedan. Would that be a bad thing? Or would I just be creating yet another oxymoron in my life?

What a small world.

I've been recently corresponding with the beautiful Beau (aka Bobo Woo) of ggwoo. Imagine my surprise to learn that THE GGWoo (the equally handsome Jeff) is a Harrisburg native who is here frequently on family visits. Since we're all pretty much married (and I'm getting up there in years), I doubt we'll be dancing the night away at the local cha-cha palace. I've proposed more sedate activities.. shopping.. dinner at a nice restaurant...the stuff we queens live for.

Teasing=revenge=gunfire???

Ok, I've been reading all day about how the shooter in California had been teased taunted, and tortured by schoolmates incessantly before acting out with a gun. I'm really divided on this issue. On the one hand, my heart aches for these kids and the pain they're going through. I've lived that hell already, as the 5 year-old in leg braces, as the middle schooler who walked funny AND had bucky beaver teeth, and as the gawky high school still - walkin' funny baby queer. It pains me, even now to remember how alienated and alone I felt*, how much I dreaded going to school, and how I felt I had nowhere to turn for help. My parents did the best they could, but they felt it best that I handled these issues myself instead of running to the school to stamp their feet. (in retrospect, I have to agree with them.) If I ever had fantasies of blowing people away, I've blocked them out. Additionally, I had absolutely no access to or experience with guns, so shooting people was not an option. See, the shooting part is where my sympathy sorta dries up. I'm sorry, killing or wounding people solves your problems... how? So, you may have gotten rid of a tormentor or two, but now you gotta spend the rest of your productive life in jail being some bad man's jail bitch. Come on, with all the resources out there, there has to be somewhere kids can turn before shooting. Where and when did kids learn that you kill the people that bother you? Next question: How the hell are these kids getting the guns? From parents? friends? On the street? When are we going to wake up and smell the coffee regarding gun control? I mean, ok, it's one thing if you need guns as part of your work, or you want to hunt for game. Yet the NRA goes nuts any time someone suggests that guns be trigger-locked, or otherwise secured. Of course, there's no easy answer... but I wish these incidents would result in coherent policy instead of meaningless platitudes mouthed by those in power and half-assed, off target reactions. *I also now realize how the loneliness and alienation turned me into such a little sex fiend once I was given the opportunity to get laid... but that's another post...

Catholic Schoolgirl with a gun in Williamsport...

God, it sounds like a bad movie title. The whole situation is horrifying, but I don't have a solution. What should the school do? It'd be a sad day indeed if a private (what's Bush's term? oh, faith-based) school ends up installing metal detectors and having security checkpoints. Click here to read the Salon story.

What's your Hobbit name?

Today's meme is the Hobbit name Generator. Click here to find out your name. I was hoping for a better experience the I had with the Mob Name Generator meme of a few weeks ago. Here's my name: Gorbulas Bracegirdle of Nobottle (with first name entered as "Matthew") Wilibald Bracegirdle of Nobottle (with first name entered as "Matt") At first I thought,"Geez... screwed again!". Then I remembered.... Hobbit names generally aren't sexy. link via 'Bred Crumbs.

Salon.com News | Deadly ambivalence

Meredith Maran: "Schools need to teach our kids how much they matter. If they don't, we will see Santana and Columbine copycat shootings again and again." Read the full story on Salon.com.

'bye, Miss M....

Such a shame... I thought Bette really showed some promise, at first. Unfortunately, (link via Keithers) the show has been yanked. Personally,I liked Kevin Dunn (who started the season as Bette's husband) a great deal... and I feel the show has suffered since his departure.

Well, here's a virus I'll never have to worry about...

The latest e-mail worm is out and about. I received an e-mail at work today: DO NOT OPEN ANY EMAIL WITH A SUBJECT LINE OF "YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN PICTURES OF YOUR WIFE LIKE THIS" OR AN ATTACHMENT ENTITLED NAKEDWIFE.EXE. Heh. No problem.

Yeeee- Hah! I've been linked!

Thanks to Beau for linking to my blog. I'm so excited... that means that people are actually reading this....whoo-hoo!

I'm holding out for a hero...

Actually, this meme made the rounds about 3 weeks ago, but I lost the link to the site. With all the site-moving stress, I haven't had time to find it again. The Heromachine allows you to make your own superhero. Although StorTroopers are cool, this is REALLY kick-ass. I'll be posting my hero (named Ian) within a day or two. (RE-link via 'Bred Crumbs)

Welcome to Seventies Decorating Hell.

Lileks strikes again. I'm ashamed to admit that my adolescent bedroom was decorated in precisely this shade of green, with a similar plant-patterned bedspread and drapes.

I'm a convert...

The BF convinced me to listen to Limp Bizkit's latest CD (Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water (edited version)) over the weekend. Go ahead, ask the question: Why on earth would a gay man (who is quickly approaching middle age) be interested in LB? After listening, here are my reasons: 1. Fred Durst. Oh. My. God. For some reason, I find him incredibly hot.
2. The band has good strong voices that actually sound trained...I heard good breath control, and excellent enunciation. Unlike most music out there (rap, pop, or otherwise) I listened and could understand EVERY word they sang.
3. Putting out an "edited" version of the album shows both marketing savvy and some level of responsible thinking on the band's part.
4. The BF and I agree: Edited or not, it's great background music when you're having sleazy, trashy sex.

How Gay are You?

Take this test and find out. Link courtesy of Brad, test courtesy of Britain's Channel 4. I got a 48%, which they say is a 'well adjusted homo'. No comments from the Peanut Gallery are necessary, thankyouverymuch.

"I'm so glad, I'm tellin' all the world..."

The Beatles' I Feel Fine was number one on the charts in both the US and the UK on the day I was born. Want to know the number one song the day you were born? Go to This Day in Music (link via Evhead). (3/5/01: OK, I butchered the lyrics, so sue me..)

I've been stickered....

Yay... my Blogger stickers came in the mail. Now, where should I put them? I'm open to suggestions.

The newest political appointee:

Check out this funny article on The Onion - link good for a limited time!

Thank god....

I purposely chose not to purchase a Pentium 4 processor in my new computer. Here's why.

A rare mid-week treat.

Looking forward to a long night of CPB (couch-potato behavior) with the BF, since I have been temporarily freed from my second-shift schedule.

Mardi Gras, Capital City Style...

I've been working first shift Tuesday and today, so I had the rare opportunity to socialize with the BF for Mardi Gras. Beads. Coins. Jambalaya. Scary Drag. An added plus... lots n' lots of tasty men coming out of the woodwork. I tried to order a Sazerac, but of course no bartender I spoke to even knew that it was a cocktail, much less how to make one. So I consoled myself with a Hurricane or four... and still managed to get home in one piece and get up for work on time.

Blog Move Completed...Oy!

Well, it's done.. four and a half f****ing hours later! What I'm proud of.... -the automatic referral from my old blogspot page is working... wanna try it? (bad link above fixed 2/28/2001) -the archives survived... all of them. -blog voices made the move seamlessly. -perma-link didn't work at first: it was quickly fixed. Now to get the rest of the page up!

My move has started....

With any luck, my blog will be relocated to my domain by end of day Saturday,Feb 24. Cross your fingers... I know I will be.

RTFM...

I'd love to know how this got here. Any bets on how long it stays up?

I'll second that.....

Beau was graciously handing out compliments to other bloggers, and had this to say about the incomparable Ron: "....smatters himself with a bit of just about everything that a real man should know." I heartily agree... and could not have said it better myself.

Whoo-hoo!

Vacation time... The BF and I are heading for Orlando on Tuesday. No updating will be done for from the road, but I'll try to keep brief notes and catch up when I get back on Sunday the 18th.

Huh?

Maybe it's 'cuz I'm not a Sopranos fan...but when I went to the Mob Name Generator and put in my name, this is the nickname I was given...

Matt "the Hobo Clown" Riley.

Ooh. scary. I can see all kinds of knockoffs of this coming for other cable shows: Oz: Beecher's "Jail Bitch" Nickname Generator... Queer as Folk: Emmett's Camp/Drag Nickname Generator ... (Update: 2/12/00... Hmm, after watching QAF last night, maybe I should re-think this one... maybe Emmett's "bottom slave" nickname generator would be more appropriate!)

I'm excited....

I have started the process to register a domain. More news as it develops...

Yuck!

Anybody with half a brain knows that fast food is bad for you. This article reminded me why I've cut way back on fast food intake.

"excuse me while I touch myself..."

The new PC has been ordered from Gateway. Here are the stats: Intel 1 GHz Pentium3 Processor and Motherboard (up from 33 mHz) 128 MB RAM (a four-fold increase) 17" Monitor 40 GB Hard Drive (compared to my maxed out 1.5 gig drive) Soundblaster Audio and Speakers ( goodbye, sorry-a** MWave combo modem and sound card!) 56K Modem/Home Networking combo card 3com 10/100 Twisted Pair Adapter (woo-hoo.. cable modem/DSL ready!) I'm not going to post the price...but I think I got a good deal. Should arrive in two weeks.

Funny Stuff from The Onion

Lance Cuellar (is that his REAL name?) discusses a common problem faced by many gay travelers. In the same issue, we discover that Stephen Tewksbury is a Party Animal.

Update 02/21/00:

Links for this post removed because the Onion apparently doesn't archive.

You're Kidding, right?

George "You're going to like the way you look...I guarantee it" Zimmer, founder of The Men's Wearhouse, admitted in this Salon Article that he's taken Ecstasy for "therapeutic purposes". Hmm.. maybe someone should give him some E, then tell him that he needs to lose the hairpiece.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program...

Salon's Janelle Brown deconstructs the Britney / 'N Sync dichotomy in Sluts and teddy bears.

Weekend Bliss, Sunday Night Crash and Burn...

Ok, I'm beginning to feel like my head is going to explode. A lot of thoughts are racing through my head at warp speed (even after taking my Ritalin). As has been the case many times before, I spent the weekend with the BF. We had an incredibly great weekend, going to see Penn State's ensemble Essence of Joy in concert on Saturday night, after cooking a great meal. Sunday, we shopped for our upcoming Florida trip, and had an absolutely mindblowing "afternoon delight". So why, after all that, did I feel like hell after leaving him last night ? Why did I end up feeling sad, lonely and lost? This week was no different than any other: his kids were coming to start their every-other full week of custody with their dad, so I had to go. Last night, the abrupt change from being SO VERY much with him to being alone again really knocked me for a loop. I really don't think his involvement with his kids is the issue.. I'm glad he's such a positive force in their lives. I never before minded the return to my own environment, my own space.. in fact, I've cherished my private time after spending so much time together. What's changed? I don't see how it's possible for us to spend any MORE time together, given our responsibilities and schedules. In fact, I think we've done the best we both can to grab time wherever available. I hate this. I feel like a needy, whiny little f**k, who can never be satisfied, even in the middle of what's become the best relationship of my adult life. He's giving me everything he possibly can...is it that I still want more? Or am I just scared because I have a good relationship and don't know how to respond to life when it's on an even keel? In short, am I a drama queen jonesing for the old emotional rollercoaster ride? There is so much GOOD going on right now. He's sweet, kind, thoughtful, nurturing. He's sexy and hot as a firecracker. I have never felt so much love, nor been given so much love in return. What's more (and this is the different part), he's as nuts about me as I am for him. Yet, last night, I felt like running the other way.. fast. I began to doubt everything. It's almost as if, as long as he's right there, right next to me, everything's fine. When we're apart, I begin to doubt what we have. The crazy cycles that occur have produced unpredictable behavior in the past: neediness, approach/avoid behavior, declarations of devotion immediately followed by tricking around (on my part, not his). I'm suddenly so afraid I'm going to f**k this up by repeating the old pattern. This is an ugly post. If anybody is reading this, you're probably a bit taken aback, since this journal has been so upbeat, positive, and, well, sorta "Mattee Lite" up until now. Honesty can be scary. Feedback, comments needed and appreciated, folks!

Be Afraid. Be VERY Afraid.....

Yesterday afternoon, John Ashcroft was confirmed as Attorney General. Read the Washington Post report, and the Salon version.

"Guess what, if I'm the president, we're going to have gag orders..."

Hmm, I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of gagging over the next 4 years¹. But at least this piece on Salon made me laugh today. ¹ No smarta** comments about my gag reflex are necessary, thank you!

"Omigod, my computer TOTALLY hates me, OK?"

Working a helpdesk, I have to listen to rants like this almost daily. What if the computer could talk back, or better yet, if I could say what I REALLY feel?

Ouch.

Foreskin restoration by stretching the existing skin...eeeeeeech! Besides, I don't have the patience. I'd probably save my pennies and go for the surgical restoration route.

WOOF! Go, Ron, go....

His readers asked, so he delivers... check out Ron, shirtless. WOOF!

BV is back!

Welcome back to BlogVoices! A big thank you to Pyra for hosting.

Microsoft: Behemoth without a clue?

Bad enough that this huge company put all of their DNS servers in one location. The way the company faced this huge outage was amateurish, at best.

This confirms what I've suspected all along....

Click here to go to a Google search that just confirms what many of us already feel is true.

Update... 01-30-2001

Somehow, something has been changed so that this search no longer brings up a reference to the Bush Campaign's online store.

"Come on, Flopsy"

A great article by David Thomson that discusses the importance of communication in relationships.
The subtitle to "Verbal embraces":

"Marriage, or partnership, depends on how urgently and wittily people continue to talk to each other."

WOOF!

Wow! Take a look at Ron's before and after photos in leather egg: gym diary, 6 months.

Not just funny... Beverage-spitting funny...

I wonder if Brad will think twice before the next time he asks someone "So, what's new?"

Be kind to the Band-width challenged...

At the risk of alienating some folks I consider dear web-friends, I have to rant a bit. Many of us techno-queens have the resources (money) to constantly upgrade both our systems and our mode of connection to the web via DSL or Cable modems (hereinafter referred to as "techno haves (TH)"). At the opposite end of the spectrum, there are many of us that don't have said resources (Ok, I'm specifically referring to myself, now) and are piteously lagging behind in terms of system "oomph" and connection speed (hereinafter referred to "techno have-nots (THN)").
Why, pray tell, am I raising this concern? Well, when one of my dear TH pals finds a file considered a "must-share", he dashes it off to all of his pals on his "A" mailing list. Given that he is connected to the net by a blazing DSL or cable connection, the said file(a mere 3.05 MB in size) zips off in a wink.. on HIS end. Meanwhile, back in dialup 28.8 land with a 1.5 gig hard drive, A THN logs on to get his mail. Torture ensues as this humongo file laboriously downloads, byte by byte through his (admittedly lame-a**) modem to his (almost maxed-out) hard drive. "Easy." says the layperson. "Cancel download of that message." No can do...mail is delivered in a packet, so cancelling prevents ALL messages on the server from being delivered. So, THN waits... and waits. One and a half hours later, the mail is still downloading. Meanwhile, THN can do nothing else on his madly cranking system, so he leaves to make a snack and start a load of laundry, Upon return to his desk, he discovers his ISP connection has timed out. So, THN dials in again, but, cuz of that "packet" thang, the process doesn't pick up where it left off...the download starts all over again. To make a long story short, 2 tries (and 3 hours) later, THN finally receives all of his e-mails. He races through the first 4 messages, ignoring the fact that they were time-sensitive e-mails that should have been received and promptly responded to 4 hours ago. He gets to "el humongo" message that took up 4 and a half hours of his time to find... A joke. Sure, it's got great graphics and pictures, it's funny, but it's still ... just ... a joke. Our story closes with THN reduced to a gibbering mess, lips flecked with foam, curled in a fetal position next to his impotent CPU. "Well" says TH, "I think YOU need to upgrade, Louise! It's not MY fault you're in the Dark Ages of computing." Like, duh. Silly me, garage doors and utilities come before computer upgrades. If I had ready cash, a new system would be a done deal, trust me. My Dear TH honeys, I love you all, and appreciate that you think of me enough to send me these funny or inspirational bits (and some of them truly are priceless). Next time, please remember the plight of your THN "sisters", and consider the following suggestions to safeguard our mental health: 1. Is this nugget unique or important? If it's something you've written or designed, you can be sure your sister would want to see it. If, however, it's something you received with forward headers galore, stop and think.. might I already have received it? If it's important, should it be faxed or sent to an FTP site where I can pick it up? 2. Remember (and this is the only circumstance in which this applies, at least in MY world): Smaller is better! Check the size of what you send. Anything less than 1 MB is generally manageable. Anything larger can really tie up a pokey modem. 3. If you have webspace, why not simply publish this nugget to your website and send your sisters a witty e-mail with a link? The benefit here is two-fold.. more hits on your site, and your THN sister can take back control of her modem and time.

Bloggie Nominees, Part Deux:

Kudos to my pal (and long-ago boyfriend) Ron at Leatheregg.com for his Bloggie Nomination. In addition to introducing me to the world of blogging, Ying has been kind enough to provide me with design feedback on both this blog and my website. Some of his suggestions have already been implemented, others are waiting for my site re-launch under my own domain. Thanks for everything, and congratulations, buddy!

Bloggie Nominees, Part I:

Speaking of Brad, congratulations on your Bloggie nomination.

Good-Bye, BlogVoices...

Thanks for the heads up, Brad.
Until tonight, I had no idea that Blog-Voices was a single-person operation. Unbelievable. I received a reply to a support e-mail *the same day* I sent it. Meanwhile, major companies take days or weeks to reply, or never bother. Many thanks to Chris for an incredible product and great support.

President who?

Another FAH link from Brad's Must See HTTP:// : A nickname for W....

The height of decadence...

The Hotel Hershey has just opened a Chocolate Spa. Cocoa bath, anyone?

Payback's a B**ch.... B**ch!

Boo-f***in'-hoo...The evil Linda Tripp got her ass canned. About Time....

New look for theBuzz..

I hope readers like the new template. It's not 100% finished, and still looks a little rough...this is my first experience working with style sheets. Let me know what you think!

Jesse confesses...

So, Jesse Jackson had an affair and became a father again (Uh, Rev. Jackson, did it ever occur to you to inquire about contracreptive contraceptive methods?). Aside from that, he gets points in my book for being honest about it.

License to kill?

As a senator, John Ashcroft backed a Missouri bill that might make killing an abortion provider justifiable homicide.Read the story on Salon.com.

Farewell, StopDrLaura.com...

Alas, we cannot (yet) say goodbye to Ms. Laura Schlessinger's wretched television show... The faux "Doctor" has been banished to late-night TV purgatory in major markets, there to remain until Paramount swallows its pride, closes its hemorrhaging wallet, and pulls the plug on the show. It was with mixed emotions that I read an e-mail from the site's founder, John Aravosis. As of today, the site has been officially shut down (hence, no link), with the consensus of the organizers that their mission was accomplished.

Hello, ROEvBUSH.com.....

John's follow up project to "SDL" is a joint effort with Planned Parenthood that "hopes to galvanize millions of Americans to contact their Senators and say "no" to John Ashcroft. The site focuses on reproductive choice AND a host of other issues, like gay rights, overall civil rights, and more".
Why should queers get involved? Simple. Although many of us men will never have to face the issue of an unwanted pregnancy, some of our Lesbian/Bi sisters WILL. They deserve to have a full range of options available.
Additionally, remember that it's a safe bet that most "pro-life"/anti-choice folks are also rabidly anti-gay. If a woman's right to choose is further eroded, we queers had better watch our backs.

From the "What were you thinking?!" department:

A priest poses for a charity calendar wearing only his Roman Collar and a Bible covering his Johnson. Church officials are not amused.

Livin' la vida Dubya...

Ugh. Ricky "I'm not Gay. Really, I'm Not" Martin is performing at Bush's inauguration. The Log Cabin Republiqueens should be thrilled. Meanwhile, check out Tom Tomorrow's take on Dubya's cabinet selection process.

If These Walls Could Talk Claire of the Moon would eat Salmonberries part XCVIII....

Not again... two obviously hetero women "stretching their acting muscles" to play lesbians. Although watching Elle Mc Pherson and Kate Winslet Kate Capshaw suck face apparently makes Kate's hubby Spielberg nervous, I'm sure tons of straight men with Lesbo fantasies are in heaven right now... along with Lea Delaria. (Spielberg spouse name corrected 01/17/2001...)

A Marriage made in Pottsylvania...

Did you live for Saturday midnight showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Did you love The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle as a kid, even though a lot of the references went over your head?? Check out this unusual union... The Rocky and Bullwinkle Horror Picture Show. It's not flashy, but it's funny as hell.

Whoo-hooo! Virtual Paper Dolls!

I feel like a giddy kid, making my own leatherdaddy. If you want to make your own cartoon, go to Stor Entertainment's storTroopers page. Thanks to Brad for this link.

Update: 01.16.2001. Here's my Stor Trooper.

Me and my pal Ollie.



(Images restored 3/5/01)

No more grocery checkout lines EVER!

A new Giant Food Store opened last summer a few blocks from my house in Kline Plaza. The store is full of great produce, meats, deli, a fresh fish counter, and a wide selection of items... in short, the first decent grocery store within Harrisburg City Limits in years. The one glaring deficiency.. customer service at the checkout has been dreadful. Most of the time, one stands in line for a good 15 minutes. No more. I have been liberated by the "U-Scan" checkouts put in service this week. Today I shopped, scanned, paid for and bagged my own groceries independently... and was in and out of the store in 15 minutes!

"Talk amongst Yourselves..."

Thanks to BlogVoices, you can add your comments right to the posts... PLEASE do!

"Who you calling Bent??"

Check out Bent, a journal of cripgay (that's 2001 for gays/lesbians with disabilities) voices. An interesting perspective.

"Ohhhh, Brad!" PLUS... B**ch-slappin'

Visit The Daily Brad at Bradlands and find out why Brad is leaving women speechless. While you're there, visit his blog, Must See HTTP://. Engage in a little "anger management" - B**ch - Slap the Supremes.

They say it's your Birthday...

..that's right, I'm 36 today. The Boyfriend took me out to lunch at TGI Friday's^®, and gave me David Gray's White Ladder. This CD has already become a mutual favorite.

People for the American Way has issued a document that details the organization's opposition to the nomination of John Ashcroft as Attorney General. It's a pretty interesting read.

Check out this article from the Advocate: Senator questions Ashcroft’s candidacy in face of Hormel opposition

Laura shuffled, Matt-eeee's day is made!

As of today, (01/08/2001) the "Dr. Laura Show" has been pulled from its cushy 10AM slot on our local ABC affiliate, to be replaced by "The Montel Williams Show". WHTM has not yet updated the web site program schedule, so it is not known if the show has just been moved or totally yanked. (Update 01/10/2001: Schedule updated on the web, no "Laura" in sight. Rumor has it that she will resurface shortly in a post-midnight timeslot.)

Here, finally, is the study I've been waiting for. It's finally being stated that so- called "Virginity Pledges" are truly as worthless as the paper they are printed on. First of all, the study shows that the average delay of intercourse was 18 months... and we all know these girls weren't on their honeymoon when they "did it" the first time. Also, since many of these "good girls" no doubt didn't want to appear "loose" by carrying condoms or using birth control, I wonder how many of them ended up having unprotected sex that first time? Given that "sex" and "virginity" are being so narrowly defined these days, many girls think that giving head or having anal sex is a way to have sex but maintain "virginity". Very few of those same girls don't realize they can get STD's and HIV that way. Check out this story on Salon.com.

John Ashcroft's nomination for Attorney General may be in more trouble than initially thought. It seems people are remembering the derailing of Ronnie White's federal judgeship by Ashcroft, and he may be in for a tough confirmation ride. Meanwhile, remember 1992 and "Nannygate?" Looks like the GOP is about to get a taste of their own medicine... it seems that Linda Chavez (Dubya's nominee for, of all things, Labor Secretary) had an illegal immigrant living in her home who did odd jobs around the house and received "spending money" from Chavez. In this story, spokesman Tucker Eskew stated that Chavez did not pay the woman as an employee. All-righty then! Thanks to Ron for the Chavez story link!) Update: As of about 1 pm on Tuesday, 1/9/2001, Linda Chavez withdrew her name from consideration for the labor Secretary post.

What's this... a state that is actually considering some common - sense drug policy? Is it time to move to New Mexico?

Robbie "Vanilla Ice" Van Winkle is in trouble again. Does anybody give a damn?

Happy to be able to get back on to Blogger today. Apparently, the publicity about the server fund has resulted in a huge traffic increase, as well as donations. Here's hoping the upgrades go well.

Here's a, well, INTERESTING form of protest. I first read about it on Salon.com... Shave your Bush to protest Bush, then found the actual link to the original article, WE HAVE THE POWER ! GET IN THE SHOWER! on SiliconSalley.com. The author is not only calling for "no more Bush" for the next 4 years, she is advocating that shorn pubes be bagged and sent to W., or, as she says, "better still, let's all go to the inauguration and throw the "bush clippings" at our new president like confetti at a ticker tape parade!" Works for me....

Another great holiday. The BF and I went to a small gathering of friends for New Years Eve, within walking distance of my place.. It was a hat party.. click here to see my half of our "matched set". We partied, but not too heavily...in fact, I think we were back up the street and snuggled in bed well before 2 AM. On New Year's day, we were invited to another house party.. one that had started on Thursday night! Again, we had great fun. The BF got to meet several new people, and he charmed all of them. (a former boyfriend of mine gave this BF a resounding "thumbs up", which felt really good). By Monday evening, we were BEAT! We retired to the BF's place for ice cream, movies, and cuddles. A simple weekend, nothing fancy, and I couldn't have been more satisfied.

Received christmas presents today from my best friend/surrogate brother Joe. In addition to the book mentioned below, I was given: - Rufus Wainwright, Rufus Wainwright (1998) -Cobb, Linda (2000) Talking dirty with the queen of clean. Accompanying the book was a bejeweled broom ("just like the Queen's") and feather duster. -Ramakers, Micha (1999) Dirty Pictures : Tom of Finland, Masculinity, and Homosexuality. Of course, I feel like a cheap mofo because I only got him a CD and a set of ornaments.

Today's Reading: DeLaria, Lea with Casella, Maggie (2000) Lea's book of rules for the world. -I started reading this book today in a hospital waiting room. I kept erupting into raucous laughter, and was getting very odd looks from the other occupants of the room. As politically incorrect as it gets... DeLaria dicusses the finer points of traveling with dildos ("Packing for the girl who packs"), lesbian etiquette ("While attending lesbian functions, do not stand up and announce, ' I don't know what it is, girls. I just eat and eat and never gain an ounce'"). She also reveals the practical side of having a nose piercing --"an extra breathing hole for cunnilingus".

Current reading: Califia, Pat (2000) Public sex: The culture of radical sex (2nd ed.). -my favorite Macho Slut is back with a revised edition of her 1994 look into matters sexual. Controversial? You betcha! This book is NOT porn, however. It is an intelligent, well - written collection of essays that discuss child porn laws, age of consent issues, S/M, and sexual identity. Interestingly, Pat is in the process of transformation from female to male, and is beginning to be referred to as Patrick Califia-Rice. Check out a feature that appeared in the Village Voice. Fleming, Keith (2000) The boy with the thorn in his side: A memoir. -An adolescent from Chicago, battered by family turmoil and extended psychiatric "intervention", is invited to live with his uncle in New York. What develops is an affectionate portrait of living with his uncle, author (and gay icon) Edmund White. Catalogs perused this week: The Sportsman's Guide Outdoor camping, fishing, hunting gear and Military Surplus. Includes some great deals on leather.

Nothing Personal (a column by Amy Reiter on salon.com) has published its second annual Readers' Choice Awards. What a hoot!

Ooh... sexy coffee table books. Getting any one of these could force me to buy a table to put them on.

Holidays sweet, danger of tooth decay (or nausea)..

Readers of this blog (good question.. is anyone reading? Let me know) may already be tired of my gooey, sappy posts about the BF. It's a fair criticism, and it may explain why I'm having such a hard time finding my "voice" in this blog (a problem I alluded to in a discussion with Ron recently). If I were writing this a year or two ago, I'm sure it would be snappier, kickier, with a bit more of a bitchy, (read, "bitter") edge. A lot has changed in the last 16 or so months, though. Today, I'm feeling much more upbeat, much more centered and happy. Since the BF has only been in the picture about 10 weeks, I can't attribute all of my mood improvement to the new relationship. (But --does the recent upturn in my sex/love life help keep a smile on my face? Damn right! :)))) ) Bear with me as I find a way to be happy but STILL be pithy, kicky and interesting. Now, back to mushy-gushy gooeyness... This Holiday Season is turning out to be the best I've had in years. Christmas weekend was spent at the BF's house. Some simple errands (we picked up the Honeybaked Ham) were run, but we spent much of the time cooking (yup, even grilling), watching movies (including Trick), cuddling, and listening to music. Saturday afternoon, I introduced him to Ann Hampton Callaway by playing her latest CD, Easy Living. He loved it. While making and eating dinner together, I also introduced him to Garrison Keillor and A Prairie Home Companion. Imagine our surprise when Ann Hampton Callaway appeared on the show as a guest! She sang one selection from her holiday album, (This Christmas) called A Christmas Love Song. We set down our forks, left the table, and danced together. Incredibly romantic. A short time later, we reverted to being the pigs we are. We practically broke the bed down in the process! Christmas Eve, we exchanged presents, then went out to our local leather/levi bar with a friend. We celebrated a bit, then came home and cuddled into bed with visions of _________ (fill in the blank... we ain't talking sugarplums!) dancing in our depraved heads. As Christmas Morning arrived, we parted so he could go pick up his children. He sent me home with a ton of leftovers. As I said, the best Christmas ever.

Looks like straight men are just discovering the joys of cockrings. As usual, homos did it first. Check out Dave Cullen's in depth article on Gays in the Military, Don't ask, don't tell, don't fall in love on Salon.com. The article originally published on July 6, 2000, and has been selected as one of Salon's best of 2000.

Bradlands has the lowdown on the Big Adult Poof.. and it has nothing to do with ME!

Now that I'm back on my feet, it's back to cooking for myself. Made some kick-ass Vegetarian Black Bean Chili today.

I received a card today from my favorite Aunt and Uncle, advising me that a donation was made in my name to the Heifer Project. What a great gift!

"Nothin' says lovin' like... like... AAAHHH-CHOOO!"

I was sick with the flu for a couple days. I'm now back to work (though not quite back to speed yet...) and trying madly to finish up Holiday chores. It never fails... I always end up running out of time with things undone... this year, no decorating or cards were done. It's all I'll be able to do to get gifts in the mail for my folks. Fortunately, my parents will be away for Christmas, so it won't matter if they're a few days late. Things are getting serious between me and the BF. First of all, he fussed and nurtured while I was sick... he brought me food, a taping of last Sunday's Queer as Folk, and gave me a backrub. First clue....Tricks or short-term daters don't help you wipe your snotty nose. We'd already talked about what "love" means... and both agreed that the word is grossly overused. Both of us assured the other that we won't say it unless we're sure we mean it. So, I was surprised the other night to hear him say, "You know, I was going to wait till Christmas to say this, but I gotta tell ya, I love you to pieces." I cried like a big sissy. I told him I loved him too. Love has always been such a scary concept for me. I've been very cautious about using the words or expressing the feeling for so long - I learned that when these words are thrown around gratuitously, someone (usually, me) will end up being hurt. I felt no qualms about saying so this time around. Stay tuned.

Visit Bradlands. Look for: -a Litella-like rant on vote recounts. -a Christmas Carol for the new millennium.

W32.Prolin.Worm is worming it's way through my workplace. E-mail viruses are a support nightmare.

I'm in e-mail hell. VerizonOnline has been having server problems, resulting in mail never being sent or received, or being hideously delayed (last night, I received a time-sensitive message sent on December 5th). Looks like it may be time to shop for a new ISP, along with a new system to replace my aging, secondhand Acer. I'm going to try to wait for Pennsylvania's second Tax-Free PC Week, (Feb 18-25, 2001) to get a system exempt from sales tax. Hopefully, I can hold out that long.

A belated (Dec 8th) Happy 40th, Marlin (Ron's boyfriend)

Music, Cereal, and Queer as Folk...

What a fantastic weekend I had! After a much-needed day off on Friday, The Boyfriend and I attended the Harrisburg Men's Chorus Concert at Whitaker Center. I was able to introduce him to a lot of people, and he got to see the group that has occupied a lot of my time in the last 11 years. On Saturday, I went to volunteer at the Central PA Food Bank. This volunteer effort was organized by my employer, and I spent about 4 hours re-packing food for distribution. I ended up having a great time. The holiday party invitations have begun. We attended a lovely neighborhood party nearby... my neighborhood has been christened by some as the next "gay ghetto" of Harrisburg, as there are at least 10 queer households within an area less than 5 blocks long and 3 blocks wide. Then came Sunday, which is Queer as Folk day. I was disturbed by the events surrounding Ted's date. On the one hand, we need to acknowledge that there is a lot of recreational, party drug use (Ecstasy, GHB) in the gay club scene, and that, for some people, their entire life revolves around the clubs. I know I sound like an ancient old curmudgeon because I'm kvetching about how the series "doesn't represent me". It doesn't, but, then again, am I wrong for expecting that it should? I think the show will reinforce a lot of stereotypes and distorted perceptions about queer culture. There's a lot more to Gay life than dance clubs and pretty buff boys. Then, the one cast member who presents as an everyday kind of guy has to be incapacitated in the second episode. I was really rooting for Ted to not only "get a little", but also in hopes that his character would be more fully developed.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my parents?"

It's cold outside. Although I despise cold weather, I'm not so miserable that I plan on leaving Central Pennsylvania any time soon. I talked with my parental units today. They are inching toward the onramp of the Information Superhighway with their purchase of an "Internet Appliance". I'm looking forward to being able to e-mail them and send pictures. Tomorrow is a big night for me. After 11 years of membership in the Harrisburg Men's Chorus, I am on sabbatical this season. Tomorrow night, I will be taking a seat in the audience for the first time ever. I'm looking forward to just sitting back and listening for a change. This concert will also be the first public social event I'll be attending with The Boyfriend. I've been single for so many years, I think people will be shocked to see that this old hussy might actually be settling down! Speaking of the BF, I was very pleased today when my mother inquired, (albeit hesitantly) "How is your Friend doing?" This is a major step forward for her and my Dad. Although I've been out to them for 13 years, this is the first time they have ever made any inquiry about someone I"ve been dating. Hmmm... I wonder if Joanie has been attending PFLAG meetings on the sly? Progress is a wonderful thing... all the same, I think I'll wait a bit before sending them the link to my website.

I blush to admit that I was a big Barry Manilow fan as a kid. I've even sung "CopaCabana" in public... (New Jersey, 1978... me, braces, big hair, polyester, and Barry. No wonder I had no social life). Now comes the news that CopaCabana has been made into a musical. Frightening.

Greetings to all! This is the beginning of what I hope to be a long habit. This is basically a test post to get my bearings with Blogger, but I plan on adding more detail (as well as an original design) shortly.